Monday, December 26, 2005

Favorite songs in the recent...

Some of the songs I mention here are not so popular. Still, I like ...

Aa aah: There are 2 songs that I liked in this movie:

1. Thazhuvudhu : The highlight here is SPB and Shreya Goshal - apt selection of singers. SPB - mann.. his voice is so youthful even now.. Shreya - she is too good at high pitch - the pull of ' kannaalaaa' at the beginning mesmerizes me. And, there is a mild cell phone ring tone like music (t-jingle tone) before first stanza (this has cheated me many times). Recently, the 'gasping sound' between lines is getting popular and here in this song, it worked really well to give the right effect for these lyrics ( if u didn't get what i mean - listen to that gasping effect after ' kadhai onru ezhudhidu kannaalaa...gasp..ilagiya maalai')

2. Thigu Thiguvena Raathiri : This is the song I liked at the first go.. (I listened in Prabhu's car). Here, the highlight is the music aptness. You can just visualize a night even if you dont know the lyrics - the music goes well with lyrics.. When I listen to this, I get a feel of a court in a kingdom where a girl dances before others.The lyrics has lot of ' rettai kilavi '(thigu thigu, gubu gupu..) and good rhyme (angam thangam , miruthamgam vechu paar kacheri; saramai saramaai avasaramaai, amba thaan thodutaanda..) Its hypnotizing..

1. Oru Maalai: This is the song I liked after listening to it many times..After watching in the movie, i feel its that the lyrics is apt with the movie situation. Infact, the tamizh attracts me so much.its pure tamizh - 'eerkum visaiyai avalidam kandene'- its been a long time that I heard the words like visai (magnet), thuridha unavu (fast food),vaadikai kaativittai (made a routine)..its poshy, stylish and brings in lots of dynamism - ''a' oru maalai' takes up the adrenaline levels..

2. Suttum Vizhi Sudare: Here, Sriram and Bombay Jayshree takes the credit..This one - I liked from the start..The words ' mellinam maarbil kanden, vellinam ..'so decently explains the physical beauty. A great way of saying 'so attractive' - 'un kangal, vandai unnum pookal endren' . The lyrics 'ne konjumpodhu mazhai azha gu kannaa ne kovamppattaal veyil azhagu' has a great meaning.When asked what is beautiful - rain or sun , she says rain is beautiful only when he is in a 'loving' mood and sun is beautiful only when he is ' angry' . This means to say she would like to enjoy the nature only as secondary to him (and his mood) and for her, nature cannot alternate to him.
Here, suttum has to be 'sudum' ( say, like in bharathiyar's song suttum vizhisudar dhaan kannama). This is some sort of 'vigaaram' in grammar. But I can't receollect..If somebody can, then let me know..

Mazhai: Mannile manile : Devi Sri Prasad's music is good. Something catchy is there in this song.. Nothing specific to mention.. but I like it..But, SPB Charan has to start singing like a youth and give life to it ( rather than like a 7th class kid).

Kanda naal mudhalaai:Kanda naal mudhalaai: Though its a song in movie, I can just think of God and not as a movie song.. Its mesmering..

Totti Jaya:
1. Uyire En Uyire: Here, again the singers esp. karthik is awesome. Nice contrasting voice between Anuradha Sriram and Bombay Jayashree each good in their own way...Very nice music.. Romantic...Enadharukil ne irundhaal, thalai kaal puyiyaadhe!!!

2. Yaaridamum: I am so happy even to write about it... this is my fav. song in this list.. Great lyrics.great music great singers. so dynamic, so romantic.. Something of my like, kind...I LOVE EVERY WORD OF THIS SONG...
'Iru vizhikaluum vizhikalum' - what a great dynamic start??!!!
'mazhai saaralo en nenjile, sugamaai keeralo en uyirile' - youthful words!!
'nammai vaanam vandhu irakaiyaal vazhthatum'- nicely says 'let it rain'.
oru vinmeen indru sillusillaai sidharudhe '- so much dynamism !!!

and my favourite lines, 'Naan kanavugalil kandadillai, kanavai yaaridamum sendrathillai' -- this line so beautifully says that 'I have never liked somebody before and I have never been liked by somebody also'..

Vitta, I will write about the whole song..May be I am just giving so much hype because i like it. But,listen to this w/o fail..

Thats it for now from me!!

Friday, December 16, 2005

Thavamaai Thavamirundhu..

Pooveru konum's last stanza's meaning is up!!!

Check out Ranjit's post on Thavamaai Thavamirundhu.. I liked it very much!!

and, makkale, thanks for patiently reading all the Sindhai Sidharal posts. My purpose of writing them was attained and I am really happy! I am confident that many of you will carry/spread the message on misconceptions / moral values in psychiatry !

Saturday, December 10, 2005

Sindhai Sidharal - Final

Disclaimer: Whatever I suggest is just my thoughts. I dont claim that it is THE only way to classify / help others. Thanks for your patience in reading a long post!!

Okay !! Well, we were discussing about the common misconceptions in mental illness. What can we do about it?? We would think that we dont get to move with mentally ill people quite often. All we could do is just give money, show some sympathy etc.. I think we all can do much more in our day to day life...Let us THINK and see things as Q & A.
In general, mental illness go hand in hand with emotional disturbance - one may be the cause or result of the other. But, who are prone to emotional disturbance? Anybody at terrible moments /situation. Biologically, at this stage there is a slight disturbance which need not have to be treated.
How it becomes quite often and lead to illness? Once after we see such a terrible moment, it is easy to get to such an extreme state often (As we have been there, we tend to increase our emotional elasticity). We start to behave eccentric regularly. This may have to be treated.
But, who are more susceptible to such repetetive mental sickness ?People with strong emotional component - genetically or acquired through the way they are brought up !!
And,what can lead/ aggravate to mental illness ?Surrounding - people around them and the individuals' attitude towards people.
How can we make their life better ? For this, I would classify them into 2 - Class 1: People declared as mentally ill by doctors Class 2: Normal people who get mentally sick quite often (possibly leading to mental illness) Class 2 can be further classified as 1. Explicity sick 2. Not explicitly sick.

Class 1 DO's and Don'ts:
1. When we see mental patients visibly sick somewhere, we can avoid eye to eye contacts/ smile/ stare/ sympathy as we can avoid their hallucinations that we are looking to hurt them/ tease them. Oru thadava vellorla, a patient took my cap and was not willing to give back as I was kindaa staring at him.
2. When we meet them, we can put up a normal look with a pleasant smile and say a 'hi' & Listen to them patiently as that would give some confidence and trust on us which would help in recovery.
3. We shall forget their illness and treat them like a friend (even if artificial, its okay. They would be preoccupied with what they wish to say or in trying to find if we are really trustable, they might not think it to be artificial generally) and not show sympathy through words.

Class 2: Do's and Don'ts:
1. If we see somebody getting mentally upset/ angry often explicitly, we tend to think he/ she has changed a lllot and they are not close to us anymore... May be its is better to ask whats the problem. Otherwise, people would start assuming things.But, he may not share with you and that may affect your 'self'. Ofcourse, appo appo namma 'selfa' koncham mootai kattanum. May be if he is willing to share, he may consider it and that may not pile up his mental sickness.
2. Healthy fun is always a healing medicine for people around. We tend to forget all our worries during those moments and we get better.Thanks to pb for all the humor.. (evlavo makkala kodumai paduthinaalum ) Unga sense of humor naala, you have been a best medicine for many people. So much punniyam for you !!!
3. Sports: When we can see yourself/ somebody around us getting sick often, we can do some sport activity (with them). Our(their) hormonal balance is maintained and we (they) tend to get normal sooner.
4. Haircut: Heard from a friend yesterday that it seems we tend to meddle up with our hair when we are mentally sick. (lexington makkale, enakku idhu theriyadhu munnadi...)

For both Class and Others: Ofcourse, we can do monetary help to mental asyylum. Once in a while, we can tend to spend time with them (and do not react to what they say/ do). Only then we will stop cribbing that 'enakkku adhristamee illa' and we have to do so much for others.

Anbe Sivam / How to EXPRESS heartfelt committment of love, the divine language??
Why when we show so much love and affection to somebody (Ill / Normal) still people dont get satisfied. They have complaints against us. Are they good or bad ? Are we doing right or wrong? Its not that. Its only that we are NOT communicating in the love language he wishes to listen. Everybody has a primary love language through which they want others to communcate to them. Love is not just aasai vaarthai / anbu vaarthai. Gary chapman, in his book on love languages , has classified love language into five. Though I think its much more than that, I like his classification concept a lot as it helps to deal with people subjectively.

Some of the love languages are 1. Quality time 2. Receiving gifts 3. Words of comfort/guidance and care 4. Act of service 5 physical touch 6. Thoughful acts etc. Say, if somebody's primary love language is 'quality time', they would expect you to spend 20 minutes just for them but you might be with them for hrs but 'watching T.V along/ giving excellant gifts / doing a great dish as act of service' which would all never make him totally happy and their love tank is never fully filled by you and others. That why they get emotionally down and would go to the next 'sickness' state and finally become 'ill'.

It is necessary to communicate to somebody in their closest primary love language (though they may have sec. languages) If you observe them or talk to them openly, you can find what is their love language(what they expect)...Identifying the right one is what is tough.. Many a times, what they give is what they expect..Once we start giving them what they want, they would feel lllot better and its helpful for both class and everybody.
Ofcourse, changing to people requires llot of thinking, patience, adaptation etc. Its tough - to think for everybody and acting accordingly but worth trying for the parents, spouse and close friends atleast.. ofcourse, the sense of 'self' would ask you at times ' nee ivlo yosikareye', enna (un 'self'a) yaaru paathupaa?.

Definitely, when you give somebody, you will get back in multitude sooner!!

Saturday, December 03, 2005

வேறென்ன வேண்டும் இறைவா !!

The final post of sindhai sindharal is yet to be written. I may need little more time to think and compile my ideas on what can be done in dealing with mentally affected people!! Will come up soon on that!!

In the past few weeks when I was resting, I felt that God had given me good things in life. Thought of putting them into words. As I recently learned some yaappuilakkanam (paa vagai, seer etc), I thought I should try write some 'venpaaa' . I tried to concentrate on one of the rules for venpaa (syllable splitting and no usage of kaniseer ) . When I came up with this, I found that I forgot about other rules in writing venpaa... freea vittuten.. When I followed just one rule, my choice of words got so limited and I found that its not flowery.. I just admire how those poets of olden days can manage to remember all rules and still make it attractive!!! Chance illa avanga !

Well, this is dedicated to my family, best friends, research and God for giving me good things!!

வேறென்ன வேண்டும் இறைவா!!!

வேறென்ன வேண்டுமினி யெனக்கிங்கு வாழ்வதனில்
பண்பென்ன நெறியென்ன வெனக்காட்டும் அன்னையும்
பாலன்ன உள்ளமொடு நட்பிற்க ழகாய்தந்தை
யும்மீளென வருளிபுவ னத்திலேவீ டுபேறளித்தாய் !!!

Verenna vendum ini enakku ingu vaazvu athanil
panpenna nerienna ena kaatum annaiyum
paalanna ullamodu natpirku azhakaai thanthaiyum
meel ena aruli buvanathil veeduper alithaay!!

(Meaning: What else do I want in life? By giving me a Mom, who shows what is behaviour and what is honesty ( path to be followed) and a Dad , whose heart is as pure as milk and he is the epitome of friendship (he is very helpful and friendly) , you have bestowed me a way by which I can have a heaven on earth )

வேறென்ன வேண்டுமினி யெனக்கிங்கு வாழ்வதனில்
நீயென்ன செய்தாயெ னகேட்குமிந்த வுலகிலிடுக்
கண்ணென்ன வென்றறிய விடாமலென்னு யிர்மெய்சிந்
தையெனவ னைத்தும்காக் கும்நண்பர் களளித்தாய் !!!

Verenna vendum ini enakku ingu vaazvu athanil
neeyenna seythaai ena ketkum indha ulagil
idukkan enna vendru ariya vidaamal en uyir mei sindhai
ena anaithaiyum kaakum nanbarkal aliththaai!!

( Meaning: What else do I want in life? In the world of people who expect ' what have YOU given me?', I have been bestowed with friends who have not let me know what is trouble and they have protected me - my body, my life and my thoughts from being troubled !! )

வேறென்ன வேண்டுமினி யெனக்கிங்கு வாழ்வதனில்
எனக்கென்ன திறனென்ற றியாமடமை நீக்கியேவிஞ்
ஞானமென்ன வென்றறிந்த விஷவியற்சான் றோர்சேர்கை
யளித்தென்ன ருகாமையில் ஆய்வுகூட முமளித்தாய் !!!

Verenna vendum ini enakku ingu vaazhvu adhanil
enakku enna thiran endru ariyaa madamai neeki,
vignyaanam enna vendru arindha vishaviyar saanror serkkai
alithenn arugaamaiyil aayvukoodamum alithaai !!

( Meaning: What else do I want in life? You have made me discover what is my field of interest by removing the ignorance. I am previleged to be associated with scientists in toxicology who know real science and also I am previleged to have a home close to my lab. )

வேறென்ன வேண்டும்வே றென்னவேண்டு மெனக்கோறும்
எனக்குஎன்ன உகந்ததென்று நீயறிவாய் - சிந்தையுட்
புகுந்தென்ன றியாமைவி லக்கியேஎன் உளமகிழ
விருப்பமென யான்கேட்கும் வாழ்வதனை நீயளிப்பாய் !!!

Verenna vendum verenna vendum enak korum
enakku enna ugandhadhu endru neeyarivaai - sindhaiyul
pugunthu en ariyaamai vilakkiye, en ulamakizha
viruppamena yaanketkum vaazvathanai nee alipaai!!

(Meaning: What else do I want? What else do i want? This is how I keep saying. But YOU know what is good for me. You (almighty!) are into my thoughts and have taken off my ignorance (and thus make me wish things that are genuine !! And I believe that ) You will give me the life and things what I really wish for !!! )

Saturday, November 26, 2005

Sindhai Sidharal - 5

பூவெறுகோனும்--நாயேனைப் பாடலின் பொருளை இங்கு காண்க
Anbe Sivam
Family care is the important thing in case of mental illness. I strongly feel that the festivals, occasions and the environment created by the Indian culture would really help people in getting out of any sort of depression. But now a days, the nuclear family life and extremely busy city life have resulted in reduction in the quality time spent at home with people. And, the things of interest of parents, brothers and us do not lie closer unlike olden days where people did things together. Now a days, people don’t tend to share things with family which is totally understandable to an extent and friends do play a part in people’s life.. Enna maari ore kidkku life ellam friends dhaan . Still, family care is something that would help you get out of any problem as they are the people who play a vital role in deciding things on patient’s life.

I met a lady in the train during my last visit to India when I travelled from Bombay to Chennai. She is a tamilian from chennai. She was pretty smiling, young but obese. She was so nice. But she was pretty slow in thinking/ talking must be around 27 /28 year old !! Her family asked me to take care of her when they dropped her in station which sounded odd and unusual as I look much puny ( like a to-be taken care person) . Infact I thought that I have got a great matured look after I joined Ph.D. During the journey, she asked me what is my discipline etc. and when I said 'pharmacy Bachelors', she opened up asking that whether the medicines taken by her are exactly good or what is that for?? She was actually having olanzipine a drug that is given for psychosis. It seems that her parents took her to a psychiatrist when she was in 10th class because she was not active / fast in picking up!! Then she was always mocked by her family for dumbness (dhadhi- thats what they call her ). She started taking regular psychiatric medicine. She had brothers and sisters.

And when she was ready for marriage , she told the paiyan (alliance) that she takes some medicines inspite of her parents asking her to hide . The guy's families, ofcourse said a ' no'. The parents started looking at her as a problem and felt that she is a hindrance to marriage of other daughters. The feeling of being rejected increased her depression . God knows what happened that made the doctor put her into a proper psychosis treatment (olanzipine) ( which I don’t understand)!!! As I said before, the psychiatry drugs have a severe side effect profile. It is necessary to consider the age/state of the patient before giving any medicine. In general, doctors give mild effcicacy drug with less side effect profile for girls of young marriageable age so that it may not cause obesity or in case if prescribed, the docs ask them to work out regurlarly . Nothing was told to her !! I felt sorry for her. ( Here is where I see the role of reps. There are some docs who generate prescriptions based on the gifts you give and there are some docs whose prescriptions never changes based on others and who are sensible enough to understand that they should not play with people’s mind.) And, all she needs is love and care and not olanzipine!! Parents hate her because she has younger sisters to get married!! She is smart enough to understand that she has some problem. she accepts it which many don’t and explains me pretty sensibly and asked me to suggest a better doctor. She says that her parents wont be listening to her as well.. I suggested someone better. Aanaa Manasu romba kashta patten!!

My suggestion to anybody would be this- dont go to a psychiatrist unless u think there is a dire need. Most of the times it is a situational reaction. If gone, otherwise they make it worse due to poor diagnosis/ treatment!! Not that they are always bad but the field of treating mental disorders is so poorly understood. I am not coming to such conclusion based on just one case!! Infact I have seen many doctors who have helped people in getting better but the credit is totally to the family who ARE the people who make it better!!!

I agree that every body reacts to the pressure they face!! Parents/ relatives have their own frustrations in these days and it needs lot of time and care to treat mental illness. Parents / friends have to really know the way/ tactics to get them out. Even if they are out of illness, they can get better but we can never say that they will not get back to such pathetic state unless taken care… things do repeat in patients life!!! Infact, mental health is like a see-saa when it goes low, it is not good but when it goes high, again it is not suitable because going high will lead to going low.. Staying balanced is what is needed and when it is even tough for people who has never been affected , it is tough for somebody who has experienced something bitter..
In my opinion, when somebody is depressed say like a loss of their dearest people / love failure / emotionally hurt , there is nothing we can do directly unless they realize that themselves that they have to get going in life. All we can do is, be a tool/ aid to help them realize that/ prevent them from becoming a mentally ill person/ make them feel better when they are improving.. There is no rule like this is the tactics to make them but we can do something about it. All we need to have is patience and perseverance with them !! I agree that it becomes unbearable for us sometimes. But certain things what we do shall help others!! I will talk about that in the next (final ) post!

Makkale, God has given many things to us when compared to such people - 'Thammin meilyaarai nokki thamadudamai 'amma perithendru' agamakizhndhu kol' nnu solli irukkanga . All of us get upset and can’t accept some things in life. There is somebody who is there for us to make us feel better. We get better and so, it would be nice if we make somebody’s life better.

Saturday, November 19, 2005

Sindhai Sidharal - 4

'நானும் என் சிந்தையும்' பாடலின் பொருளை இங்கு காண்க !!
In the initial days of my work, I used to be scared of psychiatric patients as I considered them to be 'specimens'. As I started getting slightly matured, I realised that they are just normal people and why should somebody abuse them (as paithiyam). I understood this only after getting in close touch with them. You may ask “ Priya, don't you see abnormal behaviour in them? Don't you think their movements are unusual". Yeh, I agree. Let me talk about each of them as I think they are different things.

Behavioral abnormaties do occur in common people when they are extremely emotional/ sensitive but such behavior remain unnoticed in normal situations. But when we brand somebody as mad, many of us tend to extrapolate every activity of them to abnormality. I do agree that psychiatric patients do have hallucinations, delusions and obsessive compulsion but we, supposedly the better individuals, should be rational enough to identify which is normal and which is not normal behaviour. This would help the slightly depressed/ improving patients to recover faster as everylook of ours would play a role in their recovery.

The abnormal postural movements you see in patients who are branded as paithiyam/ mentally ill say like what you see in ' sethu - chiyaan vikram' are not due to their illness. It is a clear misconception that abnormal postures/ movement (of head / face/ body) are mostly due to mental illness (though dullness and dumbness are due to the illness). It is the mostly the side effect of the antipsychotic drugs !! Such movements are called Tardive dyskinesia( dys- abnormal kinesia- movement) [ Details: These drugs used for treating psychosis reduces the increased dopamine levels by blocking their receptors. But this causes super sensitivity’ of the dopamine receiving receptors(as their dont receive due to this blocking nature)]

Dopamine transmission through basal ganglia region responsible for movement and when its transmission is reduced at a sudden rate, it cause abnormality in the movement causing facial/ other movement disorders. If you see somebody with such abonormal posture/ movement it means that they are getting treated and they can't avoid such movements. In U.S doctors do tell the patients about such abnormal movement which would occur due to treatment and are asked to choose the drug sometimes- either a slow acting drug with less abnormality in movements / or quick acting drug with high abonormality in movements.

Idha therinjuukkama many of us would have looked and abused somebody as 'adhu paithyam!! '. (Ofcourse there many other abnormality disorders occuring even in the absence of treatment in psychiatric and non psychiatric cases). I was/get extremely disturbed when I learn such truths in my classes. Such misconceptions should go away from people's mind so that recovering patients would feel much better. Some friends have heard volumes from me about this.. inga blogla ungalayum torture pannalaamnnu vandhen!!!
I think it's too much of science in a post!!! Let me stop here now!

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Sindhai Sidharal - 3

சித்த விகாரக் கலக்கம் தெளிவித்தவரின் சிறப்பை இங்கு காண்க !!

Apart from the fun, I started reading literature- doctors kitta pesanume!!! I have to convince doctors who don't believe on a drug's profile, to write prescriptions for that drug. Incase, if he writes prescritions for the same drug but not my brand, then I have to convince to write my company's. Always wondered how can I convince a doctor when I cannot even convince my kith and kin!! So,I started reading!! (But, later, I found that neriya doctorsa convince panna literature vendaam - giftse pothummnnu.)

In a while, I could see that the subject knowledge had made me a better person. I seriously understood what am I talking about (apart from marketing) ; what is needed for the society and What I am doing for it ?

From marketing to research !!!

sari.. matterukuu varuvom!!

In my opinion, as I said before, psychiatry is a field where there is no specific medicine(I will call it 'drug' here after) to cure for any specific disorder. If the efficacy profile of a drug is good, the side effect of the drug is also severe! The conditions and symptoms of many illness are pretty much interrelated that we don't have a specific drug to treat for a particular cause!!

Scientifically, we have to understand that psychosis/ any mental illness is biological. Increase / decrease from the normal levels of neurotransmision of neurotrasmitters (via different routes) in the brain are the cause for any psychiatric illness. These neurotransmitters take up different routes in brain which are responsible for different functions. Abnormalities in its levels may affect a specific function or a combination of functions. Let us take the the neurotransmitter Dopamine. Dopamine plays a vital role in regulating our pleasure and pain (via pleasure pain pathway), neurocognitive functions like problem solving, memory etc (at frontal cortex) and also in movement . When its level go down/ up at a specific route , that particular function is affected say it may cause movement disorders / memory loss/ problems in recognizing pleasure and pain

Asking me what causes such changes??? Changes in such neurotransmitters levels are affected due to factors like Stress / emotional disturbances / genetic reasons/ Drugs (medications).

Let us look at the effect of drugs in causing such illness first. Even medicines that are taken chronically for some other illness like diabetes would have a side effect of increasing the level of neurotransmission. I terribly worry about taking any medicine as such for a long time as it may affect our nervous system. Have you seen grandmas/ people who had been treated chronically for diabetes / thyroid for years and have you noticed them to have lots of worries / complaints/ hallucinations/ depression ? We would just tend to think granny is conservative / old / getting mad whatever and that's why she fights against the daughter in laws/people around her and says things which she would never do before. Most of such cases where there is no problem at the relatives's / at the granny’s side (except the complaints) would be due to some side effects of a drug that she had been chronically having for treating some other ailment. All she hallucinates / assumes/ complaints against the people would be just out of her chronic treatment medicine!! Believe me, its true. Many of us take medicines assuming that medicine would just work to heal our illness. It does something silently too!! I strongly think that we shouldn't be looking at them as cunning / conservative / narrowminded individuals always and many a times We are the people who introduced such chronic english medicine treatment to them!!!
There are literatures coming up on the side effect profiles. But who cares in India?? Atleast U.Sla we get patient information sheet which updates us with some info.

Many mental illness conditions occuring via different routes of brain may have closely similar symptoms say like dullness, suicidal feel, delusions, anger etc . So, its pretty tough to diagnize the illness as such!! So, different drugs may appear to work for many different illness but it may actually not be treating the exact cause. Gradually, I found some papers talking about the usage of drugs for illness. Though Indian doctors have great experience than people here and can diagnize much better than anywhere, I happen to find during work that many doctors in India after diagnosis treat with drugs with doses/ ways which do not seem to be sensible..

And also there are many side effects for such drugs which are not mentioned to those patients at all.. I also will blame the society for this as I find that people will not go to the same doctor if he says that ' this medicine is very effective but it will cause stomach upset everynow and then'.

That was a shock... man!!! Patients take medicine without knowing their side effect profile!!! Above all, I found that the same drug is marketed for 2 different illness (though they share some common symptoms, their origin/cause is different right !!) by different companies. Each of them have articles/ case studies to defend but no body is sure that if they are eactly treating the cause. It was the first time I felt that I am a part of the group (marketing people and doctors) that tries to play with the minds of others which is absolutely a sin. Romba varutham.. Could not control my sadness!!!

I think everybody has to know if our brain(/ our close people's) is being manipulated by some drug.‘Doctor kuduthaa ellam sari dhaan’ thought will not work in case of mental illness as you don't/ can't see its side effect explicity as like a wrong dosage causing irritation / stomach upset.

Have thought many a times why there is marketing in the field of neuropsychiatry which is absolutely a non sense in my opinion!!

to be cntd.

Monday, November 14, 2005

Sindhai Sidharal -2

Well, apart from roaming out in Chennai, I have had interesting things happening at the work spot as well!! As you all might be aware that there are many neuro psychiatric disorders such as Schizophrenia, depression (mild/moderate/severe), Bipolar disorder (Mania/Depression), psychosis. These illness may be genetic but mostly, it is due to environmental surroundings. Precisely, it (illness/ biological changes) occurs /aggravates / weakens to a greater extent based on how somebody reacts to public and how public reacts to the person. I say this statement with wide connotations – I mean that it can be viewed in both serious and funny aspects. The funny aspect I refer is what experiences I have had with the patient and my boss (my manager) and the serious aspect I refer is how the patients develop such psychiatric illness about which I will talk later.

My Manager H is a wonderful man but he takes so much rights and care for the job that he would correct my mistakes bluntly right on my face!! He is pretty professional that he would tell how much time before one should come to a spot based on the people you meet. Say for example, if you are waiting for your manager, you should be at the spot before 15min ahead of the time . If its a friend, it should be 2-3 minutes. If its an interview its 5 minutes etc.. And so he has so much ethics set up for him and his subordinates as well. He likes me/ my work but never ever appreciates me as I know he wants me to be the best.

There are some ethics which we have to follow when we go to mental hospitals. When I meet patients, I am not supposed to make any conversation with them. Infact, not even smile because a patient with 'hallucination' may think that I am there to hit him/ do something to him. Ennaku smile naturallaa varum neriya vaati.. but ' chumma iru priya'nnu nenachupen!! When he comes on rounds with me, it's a terror period! Ipdi irukadha apdi irukaadha etc. When some patient/ wardboy/ attendant comes and talks to me, I tend to answer them pleasingly and continue with the conversation for a while atleast. I always think somebody opposite to you may be smart enough to understand if I make conversations oppurtunistically. Infact I feel I should not do it. But H will give all D looks. After they leave, he will just tell right on my face ' unakku aarvakoolaru romba adigam...adanga maateye nee'. For me, who have never heard local chennai bashai like this, it would sound insulting and I would get broken into pieces. Avar kooda irundhu irundhu soranai ellam koranju pochu!!!!

When I am there waiting for my turn to meet the doctor, I get to meet many patients during that time. One thing I observed was this: Very poor / very rich patients dare to start a conversation. Poor patients ask for free sample medicine and share their symptoms and their treatment details. I kindaa verify to myself if the doctor is on his right way in treatment. ( Please do not think that I am proudly saying that I know things.Psychiatry is a field where things are not definite. All what many doctors know is from the references the reps and executives quote. And there is no medicine like thalavalinna tylenol, fevernna ibuprofennnu !! Its all trial and error situation for psychiatrist about which I will talk in depth. let me leave this now).
Very rich patients do not consider illness to be a sin and they forget their illness. There is one inpatient clinic in nungambakkam opposite to the L college where there are/ can be only rich patients. The expenditure for their stay is like 10,000 rupees per person in 2001. Some are Ph.D students (makkalee..romba padikaantheenga!!! ) / Ph.D candidates / Job holders from U.S who couldn't bear the pressures . But, now, they look so cool and once, I was amazed at a chemistry student(patient) who casually with great english accent came up to me and called me for playing TT .

Well, the middle class are those who scare to death and do nonsense about their illness. Patient's caretakers are the pillars for such patients. Avanga epdi nadakaraangalo that is reflected on patients of this category very much. Adhai pathi aprom pesalaam. But indha patient's caretakers' thollai thaangaadhu'!!! Patientsoda family members ask me for cold/ cough/other illness medicine and when I say ' I have only psychiatric medicine' they give me a kevalam look that I feel so embarrassed. My sample medicines go just to doctor and I rarely give to patients that too only after knowing that they take the same drug, same dose!

Other reps of other non psycho division would be distributing to all perimma, chithi.. etc. Enna seiyya -- 'avvaiyar' kalvi pathi solra maari, naanum solven – en maathiraigal 'kollathaan mudiyaathu; kuduthaalum (vyaadhi) neraivozhiya kuraipadaathu'. Avlo sample mathrai bag bagaa irukkum !! 'Thookamathrai' leirundhu - obsessive compulsive disorder varaikkum ella psycho medicineum enkitta irukkum!! aana use panna mudiyaadhu!!
Lexingtonnukku eduthukittu vandhu naalu perukku kuduthu udavi irukalaam :)-
To be contd.

Friday, November 11, 2005

Sindhai Sidharal - 1

Hey there!!
Have you thought of this... What can be the most horrible illness one can get?-- Cancer? Diabetes? Thyroid problem? Lactose intolerance? Gout disease? Arthritis? - yeh... these are chronic and they will cause trouble all throughout the life. According to me, the one that is most severe/ 'unbearable kodumai' is the Neuropsychiatric illness. It does not only affect one's brain/thought process but also the people around them.

Well, I want to ask you this... Have you guys had a chance to visit any mental hospital / psychiatry clinic??? If not, ask me.. I have lllots of stories to tell - the fun part and the learning part as well. I really have something to discuss and share with you all and though I am starting here with my experiences, I have something which I want to share important in the next posts..

Sari, getting back to the story..Yeh, I had the oppurtunity to visit almost all the mental hospitals/neuropsychiatry divisions at chennai right from MMC, Ramachandra (SRMC), Vadapalani Vijaya, Soorya and many kutti clinics and infact I have been to the biggest and one of the best mental hospitals - Vellore bagayam!!! Enna daa, ivlo naal oru loose ezhuthardhaya padichomnnu nenachu bayapadaatheenga!! coolap podunga!! I went there as a part of my job & not as a patient.

I took up a job in psychiatric division of a reputed company in chennai in 2001 which demanded me to meet psychiatrist and neurologists and talk about our products/ patients illness etc. - more like a Rep. but, as its a separate division, I didn't have to visit general physicians..koncham mariyaathai undu..onnum therilanaa kooda BITSnra per 'kai' kuduthu udavichu:)- and also koncham sales velai irukkum- visit pharmacies and enquire about the competetor brand, what they sell, how they do it etc.!! Sama different exposure!!! I took it up inspite of knowing that I dont know anything abt marketing / sales because I wanted to explore chennai.. All I knew was the route from Luz aanjaneyar temple( near which we lived during schooling) to gopalapuram D.A.V. Maximum 'kabaleeshwarar kovil' theriyum avlodhaan. satyam theatreukku 11th std kooda poga theriyaadhu!!

But then, my parents moved to pammal during my college days. So, I had to ride my scooty atleast 90kms / day for my job. As its psychiatry, the doctors and clinics are few and scattered. I had to meet a doctor at MMC in the morning at 8.00am, be at vadapalani vijaya at 11.00am, at surya around 12.15, then to ramachandra around 1.00(i had to rush..SRMC Canteen saapada adichuka mudiyaadhu!!), get back to best hospital choolaimedu at 3.00pm and visit some clinics at triplicane till 9.00pm and come back to my home at pammal all the way through GST road.(wow.. enna sugama kathu adikum vandi ottinaa!!!) The next day, it will be a pretty different route starting with KK nagar, T.nagar etc...though the life was tough, I enjoyed being busy to the core as that was the time I learned things like
moving out myself, eating alone in a hotel/ road side kadai (when so many 'bayangarama looking' guys stand near me) and things like initiating a conversation etc.
to be cntd..

Sunday, October 30, 2005

Sila nerangalil sila manidharkal

Thiruvasagam next stanza meaning is up with kannappar's story !!

He who knows not, and knows not that he knows not, is a fool. Shun him!

He who knows not, and knows that he knows not is simple. Teach him!

He who knows, and knows not that he knows, is asleep. Wake him!

He who knows, and knows that he knows is wise. Follow him!

- old saying

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

On the road to Discipline!!

Enna daa idhu !!! Wondering what lecture Priya is gonna give on Discipline?? Lectura ellam illa!! Just thought of sharing some things that happened at my side.
How things changed at MY side too!! May be a useful piece for some..for others this post may be a time pass!

My home: Well, I am the only and the not so naughty kid at my home. Though no nastying home kind, I was not organize ..infact, not taught/learned to be organized

My Appa is somebody who keeps his shelves pretty clean - infact empty and throws much of the kuppai from his shelves to the common shelves in living room and waits for a chance to claim at a smallest kuppai that 'veetla neenga rendru perum thaan kuppai podareenga' !!! Futurela, rooomates kitta kooda naan sanda pottadhilla.. But, 'Appa'vukkum enakkum eppayumee gusthidhaan - trying to blame each other' ! Amma, a very calm person who never yelled at us anytime till now, would try to clean up all the common mess !

My hostel life: When I joined hostel for undergrad, I, in general was okay - folded bedsheets properly, cleaned the room so well, washed clothes everyday...But, during times of exams, my room would turn upside down..When I start searching a micro tipped pen/a graph sheet(some things which I dont use everyday) or a before a tough exam, everything would be disturbed..Bed full of clothes, papers on floor, books scattered on study table - sindhubhairavi suhaasini veedu dhaan!!! I used to think that it is the norm. Everybody is like that!! But, puzzled why everything is disturbed by just a single search!! Still my mind was pretty inquisitive to see how about others!!! My sidie (the girl in next door) was worse...but, never bothered in being so . My oppie / friend was pretty good but she claimed her cleanliness/organized act so much that my... never let me accept that she is better organized than me.
My attitude: And, there are/were many cleanliness freaks around me who would wash face and hands atleast 10 times a day, won't eat vegetables (vellerikai/ potato)/ apple with cover tholi, talk so much about cleanliness but they would still bite nails, scratch their nose, have an
infection untreated for days and wont even remember their last month utilty bill / pay checks , would pay 25 dollar late fee for credit card just out of carelessness.. Such people's act have made me feel ' Priya, its okay if you sit with 20 papers scattered around you before an exam and read leave it on floor for 2 days/ if your study table is disturbed during every search of something. Its lots better than all other's act.. Though I am right in the way in saying what I should not do, my attitude on being more organized (looking at others fault and not correcting mine) was again non sense..I realized it when I moved alone in 2003.

"Acceptance is Strength"- a lesson I learned:
When I moved alone, I could not put the fault on others..I sincerely HAD TO accept to me 'Priya, you have to accept that you have to improve in keeping your things properly at all times'.I got time to think about why I have to improve/how can I get better.
Why? - I don't have any rules/feeling incorporated within me stating 'this' has to be like 'that'. In short - no discipline in me.
How? I decided to work on this module by module and look for improvement every week. I will try
to just follow just one rule or two - do it and make it a part of me like brushing teeth / taking bath. When it goes into me, then I will think about the next thing!!

The first thing I decided was 'I am not going to keep anything/let others keep on floor in the living room.. not a book or an umbrella or slipper or my bag.. nothing'!! I started taking my bag into the room and drop it in..If a guest drops something, i will take it and put it myself (which would make him be so at my home )... Waiting for him/her to do will not help !!!
What a great change u know??.. I never had to be scared/cautious if somebody comes to my home all of a sudden!!
Next was, I will always put my shoes only in the rack when I come home howsoever tired I am..Then were the study papers .. Started planning one by one.. just blindly follow and not think about over all discipline/ cleanliness.
Implementing multi-tasks was tougher at the beginning.. But when I incorporate the first thing, I never had to remember and consciously do that. I had to remember that week's plan alone..That made life easier.. Rewarding statements from my friends motivated me !!!

Observe your friends: Things gradually improved and is improving. Analysing and incorporating a small thing by observing good aspects of others has made me better and better! The best examples are these :
My roomie after we arrange all things got from Walmart, will fold every polythene cover and put it on a box over the fridge. I was amazed at her act!!! Never it struck my head. She never enforced me but now, I am doing it too. When I/ somebody need/s a cover, I can unfold and give it to them with so much pride ( and not pick/pull out from a bag full of covers nastily ).

Last week, I heard my friend RC say "After he/ his roomie cooks, everybody would admire that their electric stove would look so clean as though they never cooked" . I thought why not this be my next goal. My stove should look always so.
Ofcourse, there are friends who motivated me not to do certain things by their act like cooking things in an uncleanly atmosphere like with all veggies tholis/ spice boxes in and around the cooking table..

Perseverance: I have had days when I feel all these are nonsense and too much of discipline would spoil my freedom and would make me mechanical and not follow any of these. But the truth is people like me will not go too much discplined :) and its all that day's mood. But, I think , getting back again and starting things fresh would BE the best thing that can make us better !!

Our growth: After looking at people who think that keeping their things/ home okay is not their priority. I got a question on my mind!!
'When somebody doesnot even give reasonable priority to organize their things ( get little disciplined) at this age, what sort of mental growth have they/we achieved from their/our undergrad to master's/Phd.?? and how, all of a sudden will they/we get ready to lead a family/take care of their old parents/young kids ?? Are such lack of awareness / less priority leading to raising poor individuals??
I dont know!!!

Planning and working on small modules can make somebody like me ( a zero at the start) grow a lot better and though I have a llong way to go (Still I search my keys every alternate day !!), I am happy that I have realized it..

Now a days, you can't expect your spouse/family to be like our amma who will clean/take care of our mess too !! Naalaikku unga veetla idha enforce panna ungalukku 'kurudana pudichu 'raajamuzhi' muzhinnu sonna epdi irukumo, apdi irukkum!!:)'
So makkale, I think its hi-time we start thinking about it.

Friday, October 14, 2005

My favorite song and its meaning is now in my tamil blog . Rendu bloglayum tamizh Kalviya pathiye pesaren. I will try to avoid it here by learning to add links, photos etc.. Thats why I had been posting here abt. tamil stuff. Also, I wish to blog roll many favorite blog spots i visit.. Yet to learn how to do that..

Enna maari science students molecular/ genetic talk thaan theriyum.. Innum computer related stuffsla updatedaa irukanumnnu aasai padren..Let us see!!!

Monday, October 10, 2005

விரைவில் திருவாசகத்தின் அடுத்த பாடல். அதுவரை ஆத்திசூடி !!!

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

En Nanju Undeer Ayya

I am very impressed with the lyrics and the music of the song ' En palli Kondeeraiyya'. Its an amazing song written by Arunachalakavirayar which has innovative interpratation of why Lord Vishnu is in ananthasayana pose, adoring the leela and saahasaas of the Lord. I was listening to this sung by Bombay sisters.( Sudha ragunathan has also sung in different music and its amazing too).

It just struck my head this morning to try writing such innovative interpretation of leelas of Lord Shiva in a similar tune. I came up with this , this morning. I guess you can try singing in any of the tunes ( Sudha / Bombay sisters). I tried Bombay sisters tune and it worked fine.

( The one after bars in the lyrics are those which can be interchangebly used and I thought both verses are equally apt at that place . Thats why I am giving both)

Note: The interpretation I have given for Lord shiva to drink visham is basically not the real reason for him to drink visham..

Similarly, in that song ' en palli..' , Lord Vishnu was not tired/worried of killing kalinga or kamsa etc and went back to rest. The author just interprets some reasons and asks if they are the reasons for his act using his innovative skills and indirectly say his laurels.

So,here , the act of drinking visham is not due to any of the reasons listed by me. Its just the interpretation I have given. So, please dont think they are the real reasons for him to drink visham!!!

Tamil In English :
En Nanju undeer ayya,
Neer En Nanju undeer ayya !

Nanjum thaane ezha, parkadal naduvile
Avatharithu ange adhanai Nodiyile
En Nanju undeer ayya!!!
( When 'mandira' mountain was used as 'mathu' and 'Vaasuki' serpant was used as 'rope' to get 'Amritha', aalakaala visham / nanju came up in 'paarkadal' and Lord shiva came there and swallowed it)

Pithan endru aanathinaale
kallaal adipattu nondheero!
( Sakkiya Nayanar, a Buddhist , adored Lord Siva. He threw a stone at the Lord inadvertently during meditation at the sanctum, which the Lord accepted as a form of worship. That had becoem his daily form of worship.The Lord was pleased. I interpret as the ill treatment he got though not exactly so )
Peyan Endra peyar petru
sudalai kaathu nondheero!

( I mean the vettiyaan job)
Paaramindri asurarkkum varamalithu
vandha vinaiyaal nondheero !

(I mean the tharakaasuran story who turned against Lord and ran behind him to destroy God after getting varam )
Jathisei kaalinaal oorthavathaal
kaaliiyai vendru nondheero

(Here I mean the dance competetion between Nataraja and Kali where he did the 'oorthavathandava' pose which is a typical men posture and thereby won his spouse which I write here as ' he might feel bad for competeing against his dearest wife' )
Ambaal adipatto!!
(Kamadeva pierced Shambu (Lord shiva) causing him to break the vow of celibacy and fall for the Paarvati, the daughter of Himalaya)
Vedanaal udhai paato!!
(Kannappa nayanaar, a hunter, saw blood from the eyes of Shiva Linga and gave an eye. When he found another eye of the linga to shed blood, he decided to pierce his second eye and to place his eyes on to the lings eyes, for knowing the location, he kept his leg near Lord's eyes which i interpret as 'udhai patto')
Avvapodhu Umaiyaipp pirindho!! / use ' aanaadhaiyaai ninrathinaalo'
( In most Thiruvilaiyaadalkal I have read, I have found that some fight would come between Lord Shiva and Goddess Uma and she would be sent to the earth. Later he would come to earth, give darshan to devotees and marry Uma. I just interpret that he is pretty upset because of that )
Thiruvottudan bhikshai aando!!
( Bhiksshatanaar is the form of Lord Shiva where he went on streets begging arms . This form is to explain the sages that God is the supreme and not the Karma as during those period, sages stopped worshipping God and were just performing karma)
Bhagirathanukkaai azhagu gangaiyai keezh alitha varuthamo!!
( / Mukkanninaal neer sindhiyum um vedhanai theeravillayo!!)
( Bhagirathan prayed God and ask for Ganga to be flown on earth which was primarily on Lord shiva's head . I tried to say he is kindaa upset on that ) / (/ Lord has 3 eyes including netrikan.I interpreted that he is extemely upset and he cried with all 3 eyes and still he is upset. So, he had visham)
Vadivillaamal makkal thudhikkum varuthamooo!!
(/ Ithanai kodumayaal manam ooyavillayooo!!)
(People dont pray Lord Shiva in a form other than Linga. I tried to say he is kindaa upset on that)!
En Nanju undeer ayya,
Neer En Nanju undeer ayya !


ஏன் நஞ்சு உண்டீரய்யா
நீர் ஏன் நஞ்சு உண்டீரய்யா !!

நஞ்சும் தானே எழ, பாற்கடல் நடுவிலே,
அவதரித்து அங்கே அதனை நொடியிலே
ஏன் நஞ்சு உண்டீரய்யா !

பித்தன் என்று ஆனதினாலே
கல்லால் அடிபட்டு நொந்தீரோ!
பேயன் என்ற பெயர் பெற்று
சுடலை காத்து நொந்தீரோ!!

பாரமின்றி அசுரர்க்கும் வரமளித்து
வந்தவினை கண்டு நொந்தீரோ!
ஜதிசெய் காலினால் ஊர்த்தவத்தால்
காளியை வென்று நொந்தீரோ!!

அம்பால் அடிபட்டோ!!
வேடனால் உதை பட்டோ!!
அவ்வப்போது (உ)மையைப் பிரிந்தோ!!
திருவோட்டுடன் பிட்சை ஆண்டோ!! (/ use அநாதையாய் நின்றதினாலோ!!)

பகிரதனுக்காய் அழகு கங்கையை கீழ் அளித்த வருத்தமோ !!
( / use முக்கண்ணினால் நீர் சிந்தியும் உம் வேதனை தீரவில்லையோ!!)
வடிவில்லாமல் மக்கள் துதிக்கும் வருத்தமோ !!
(/ use இததனை கொடுமையால் மனம் ஓயவில்லையோ!!)

ஏன் நஞ்சு உண்டீரய்யா
நீர் ஏன் நஞ்சு உண்டீரய்யா !!

First devotional Composition

Hey guys,

This morning unusually I got up pretty early. I was drinking coffee gazing at the kolu at my home..I came up with a devotional composition which , if you think is suitable, can be sung too.

It was pretty shocking/surprising to me as well as I have never written about God . I have always written verses (kavithai) only on myself , social things, crushes and other vethu things in life (Infact I had written once abt sivarasan, thanu - involved in rajiv gandhi assasination).

I will type it after I get back home !!

Monday, October 03, 2005

Yummy !!!

Icecreams and chocolates (I&C) - what a great invention???

An invention that can give a heavenly feel !!!! Chancee illa!!!

I & C :
  • A boost during times of dullness, fatigue: When I am dull, I just go for a walk, get an icecream and walk on the pathway with so much energy and happiness licking the melting portions of the icecream
  • A mood modulator: Eat an icecream / try a different chocolate! You can put off your sogam for a while.
  • A companion during times of celebration/ happiness.
  • The only gift which has made me the happiest - no gold/ silver, no books or no materials can bring that!!
  • Till date, when doctor is gonna give me injection, I just think of only I & C to forget my pain!!!I suggested this to one of my friends admitted at hospital. He simply smiled and thought me to be kiddish.. I felt that he has not ever tried/wanted to see how much it changes your thinking/mood towards life !!!hmm..

But, I feel Icecreams and Chocolates are THE yummiest things in the world!!!What do YOU say??

Wednesday, September 21, 2005


Thiruvasagam is an amazing piece of work by Maanikkavasagar inculcating bhakti in every individual's life. I have heard my friend pb say that even many years after Manikavaasagar's period, there were kings who trained groups of individuals to chant thiruvasagam in the streets and temples of Tamilnadu.

I got a soft feeling for Thiruvasagam when I was in my high school and there used to be interschool competitions to recite Thiruvasagam (at Vidya Mandir, Mylapore / Bharathi kalai kazhagam, saidapet). During those days, it was the tamil that attracted me - simple and sweet words (and no bhakti feel..)

I heard the thiruvasagam songs (not the ones i learned at high school) in symphony music by Ilaiyaraja ..Wow!! what an amazing music..Initially I could not concentrated much on the music as I didnot find it to be like another devotional music, say Kandhashasti / Mahishasura Mardhini / Bhaja govindham / Hanuman chalisa..

But, I could partially understand the lyrics. Due to my curiosity to understand what it says, I started listening to it frequently and I scratched my head with G. U. Pope's transliteration - trying to decipher word to word meaning on some songs where I didnot understand.. Then, I found myself to be falling madly in love with it. Some days I stayed listening to it repeatedly till 4.00 am . I realized that the music and lyrics went so well together. I could feel how much bhakti Maanikavasagar had for siva perumaan.!!Avlo manam urugi paadiirukaar that some lyrics have brought tears out from my eyes too .

I recently realized that Thiruvasagam has played an amazing role in my life too. I have heard it when I was both extremely happy / sad. During times of extreme happiness when we tend to forget GOD and at extreme sadness when you need confidence / determination to get going, listening to thiruvasagam helps like anything!! Believe me, you get an enormous energy and support from the music and the words !!! I feel that there is somebody there for me within me - guiding, caring and loving me.

G.U Pope has given an amazing transliteration in english. But for that, we don't have any script explaining its meaning online.

But, I found that it is kindaa tough for this generation in general to understand from his explanations as some incidents/ stories mentioned implicitly in the verses by Maanikavasagar are not elaborated and I guess they were well understood/known during Pope's period. Also, our tamil vocabulary is getting deteriorated which makes it tougher to understand word to word meaning!!!

I am thinking of writing word to word / general meaning for some of the songs in Thiruvasagam (in symphony music) shortly in the tamil blog (as a break between Aathichoodi). As this is my first trial to write meaning for longer verses, please forgive me and correct me if I make mistakes. Hope you all would enjoy it.

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Vevaramaana makkal!!!

hmmm...what would I say .. i just can't say but I wish to say...

Before that , I would announce this.. This is my 25th Post ...Thanks for all your support people !!!


Yesterday, I was thinking about the next five quotes of aathichoodi for my tamil blog..
I had doubts in the meaning of a word.. Then I thought I would just google it up.. I had already tried once googliing before that on aathichoodi .. 'Ippo orudhadava irukaanu paapomee' nenachu aluppoda search pannen..

I got a list of links saying athichoodi ..athichoodi.I was glad to see its recognition .. namma avvai paatiyoda words are famous even in other country links..Here was one link which made me write this blog. It said something like 'learn atthichoodi. its free!! just only one day trial'
My mind was like " hey priya, good that u looked up today. tomorrow u can't learn" . Out of curiosity even without giving a second thought, I clicked.. ulla pona en hearte oru nimisham ninnu pochu..I can never forget this..then i just started laughing ..

Ennatha solla.. vevakaarama site.. appo dhaan therinjudhu ' just one day trial .' ellam
Avvaiyyara use panni avlo azhaga koopdaraangale.. After I stoppped laughing, I was kindaa upset!! hmmm..Vevaramana makkal!!

Friday, September 16, 2005


Hey all,
Visit my tamil blog when you find time!!

My idea is to quote everyday a simple tamil verse written by renowned poets and give its meaning !!

Thanks for all your support and enthusiasm which motivated me to proceed ahead to write in tamil also.

Though, I would not want to know your visit everytime ( as most of the content in that blog would be the thoughts of some great people), I would be curious to know how many of you are interested in such stuff (which would kindle my enthu) !! So, just let me know if you are interested !!!

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

Untagging Myself !!

Well, I am here to untag myself. I have always believed that putting your thoughts in writing would make things clear for you. So I thank tj for making me think about myself what I am and what I always wanted !!

7 things I plan to do before I die:

1. Visit Europe - Go to Luxemburg, The Netherlands (where my friend Ram lived) , Greece ( travel thru waterways), Eat at Indian restaurants at vienna, see the midnight sun at sweden, visit Rome and have fun!!!
2. Write a cookery book - traditional and modern mentioning the need/use of ingredients !!
3. Read many tamil literature books esp. Pathinen Keezhkanakku noolgal. Thiruvasagam/kalamegapular paadalgal are some which kindled my interest in reading tamil to understand bhakthi - Manam 'pulahaangitham' adaiyardhunna ennannu kaatiya books!
4.Take 1 month break from everything atleast once a year and visit a remote kshetram with a huge karungkal kovil in Tamilnadu and rent a 'ottu veedu', cook and eat, live there - no electronic gadgets - melliaya kaathu veesa adha easy-chairla ukkandhu anubavikkanum - just visit that temple every morning and evening "oonuruga 'uyir'uruga thaen tharum thadaagame" nnu meimarandhu kadavula dharsanam seyyannum - in the free time should take tuition for the village kids. I wish to visit atleast 50 places some of which are Thirunageswaram, Vaidheeswaran kovil, Thirukovilur, Sooriyanaar kovil, Vaazhaikurichi, Ambaasamudram (Enga sondha oor), Thirukoshtiyur, Thanjavur periya kovil, Vellore Jalagandeshwarar kovil, Thirumallaii vaiyaavur.. I am so excited when I am just writing about this.
5. Learn all non superstitious traditions, customs, traditional music and practices from previous generations and teach interested people !!
6. Through Sahaayaa, the organization I recently set up, I would like to help as many children as possible with the aid of good people and come up with an ashram of just few children who will not just be given basic amenities but also value based education and vocational training, moral guidance and care !! Do set up a community welfare center in india with gym, yoga center, art and handicraft classes.This is such a long term aasai since childhood and I am happy that I have started the initial steps! If interested in helping, please contact me!
7. Bring my parents once to U.S.

7 things I can do:
1.Can cook variety and eat happily
2.Can sit with book/ painting for hours
3.Can infect enthusiasm on others anytime
4.Can keep myself busy wherever/ however I am.
5.Can plan many things at a time and accomplish most of them w/o getting aluppu ..
6.Can sleep even a full day (24 hrs)
7.Can hurt myself easily

7 things I can't do:
1.Can't control my anger on people who can't respect others feelings (likes/ dislikes)
2.Can't go to bed at 9.00pm
3.Can't live on bread/buns/any junk food more than a day
4.Can't understand electricity and magnetism
5.Can't stop worrying until I find a solution
(can't develop 'nalai sangadhi naalaikku paathukalaam' attitude)
6.Can't listen to vocal music and study simultaneously
7.Can't bear with not genuine, boastful people

7 things I say the most:
1.Chance illa !!
(On admiration)
2.Kadavule !
3.Seriously !
4.Mandai kaayardhu (I say this now a days)!!
5.Aneeyaayam / thaangala !!
6.Eruma kadaa (chellamaa); dog !!
7.Hello and bye ( on phone >= 10 times a day & in person >= 10 people a day)(thaangalayaa!!!)

7 things that attract me to opposite sex:



Calmness ! ( and a nature that doesnot allow to talk nastily )

Kuripu arindhu seyalpadhudhal (attentive/ staying sensitive and reacting accordingly) !!

Healthy sense of humor !

Paechil Nidhanam !

Unbiased respect for others feelings !

Celebrity crushes:

1. Shahrukh Khan
(I was mad for no reason i can think of ...owned a poster of 5 ft - have celebrated his birthday at midnight , distributed 5 star chocolates for 4 yrs in undergrad; Innukku ' baazigar ' paathalum ' maalai maalaiyaa' azhuven avan saagaraannnu !! )
2. Boris Becker (Chinna vayasu crush) and 'Ivanisevic'
(koncha naal)
3. Actor Vikram ( ever favy )

I tag Vasu, Badhri, Dinesh, Ashok . Let's see what they say!!

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

Nenjil Uramum Indri..

'Nenjil uramum indri' is my favourite Bharathiyar samooga paadal!!

It has amazing lyrics!!! It talks about people who are not determined , not genuine and pompous and how they actually dont take anything seriously into their brains when they just do the ill talk !!

Its seriously shocking to see such people's existence since those days till now!!
Listen to it here

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

வலிய வேண்டும் வலி

ஊதிய மளித்து உட்கார வைத்து,
ஊதிய யாக்கை உடற்ப யிற்சியினால்,
உடுக்கை யாயுதற மெய்யெங்கு முணருவலி- ஆனந்தவலி!
உடலெங்கு முள்ளப்பட மேலுமேங்கும் உற்சாகவலி!!

உள்ளமே யுடலுருக மேலுமேங்கும் உற்சாகவலி!!

(This describes the pain due to working out (to reduce the weight obtained by sedentary work) which brings happiness and enthusiasm to waste. Here, the heart wants the body to inflict more pain!)

பதிபடியே வந்தேறவேண்டி, பெருமாளை தொழுதுருகி,
விதிபடியே யிலாதிரயெம் பெருமானை யுமுளமுருக,
பிரியமுள்ள வரின்பிணிபோக்க வேண்டுவலி- அன்புவலி!
பிரியவொ ணாநிலையென்றும் வேண்டுமந்த அபயவலி!!

உடலேயுன் உள்ளமுருக வேண்டுமந்த அபயவலி!!

(This describes the pain inflicted for curing the disease of the loved ones (and staying together with them) by prayers to Lord shiva and Lord Vishnu and also the pain with which we surrender! Here the body inflicts more pain to itself for the heart( Of GOD) to grace!)

அதிகாலை பொழுதுவிரிய, ஆதவனோ தான்விரிய,
அரும்புகளோ தேன்சொறிய, வண்டுகளோ சிறகுவிரிய
அன்றிவனோ காதல்விரிய, அவள்கண்விரியா கண்டவலி-அச்சவலி!
என்றிவளே தான்விரிவா ளென்றேங்கும் ஆசைவலி!!

உள்ளமோடு உடலுமுருக சேர்ந்தேங்கும் ஆசைவலி!!

(This describes the mutual relationships - dawn leading to sun's arrival which leads to flowering of the bud which inturn makes the fly open their wings. The hero after observing all these natural mutualities,lets out his interest to the girl expecting mutuality. Unexpectedly, her 'no signs of excitement', brings a pain which scares him and brings pain of expectation in him for her to come back!!! Here both the body and heart waste more due to this pain!)

Monday, August 22, 2005

Smile Please...

Famous quotes on smile:

Everytime you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing. ~Mother Teresa

It takes seventeen muscles to smile and forty-three to frown. ~Author Unknown

If you don't have a smile, I'll give you one of mine. ~Author Unknown

Wear a smile and have friends; wear a scowl and have wrinkles. ~George Eliot

Great smiles can change everything in you..
I have heard a saying by Vivekananda (who has a divine smile) that if you can't smile, better do not come out of your doors, as you dont have any rights to disturb other's mental state.

Yeh, every smile from our face lights up some body in this world!!!..

I never realised it till people started telling me.. I have had the worst times when I managed to smile and on the same days, I have had friends coming up to me saying 'priya, you never seem to get problems.'; 'priya, how can you always have a smiling face' etc..I never purposefully meant to do that!!! I had thought ' Ennada idhu, you think I am always happy or what??'. Then I realised ' how many people's smile had lit me up? How many smiles i have greatly admired at..

Well, I have great admiration for smiles. But, I dont admire every smile that people try to put on their face. I mean the ones that come from deep within one's self. We can see such smile occasionally in everybody. But, only few can always smile from heart that can bring happiness, fetch friendship and give life. And such smile appears to be so so beautiful irrespective of the beauty of their features. (Ofcourse, teeth adds beauty to every smile ).

Kudos and thanks to all those who smile realistically.

Well, let's see if you can distinguish a real smile and a fake smile.. try this out !!!

Wednesday, August 17, 2005


P.S: VIPARITAKARANI prevents hair turning grey and infact turns grey to black for some people!!
Since last 8 years, whenever I call up my grandparents, the first question I get from grandpa is 'Priya, are you doing Vipareethakarani?' .. When I asked him about Viparitakarani asana in my childhood 'why should I do that', he said that it is good for everything..As I grew up, I further asked ' what does everything mean?'.. He answered ' it is very good for doing research. it gives you great memory and less tension'..I was like ' oh its good..okay'..

Now, at this stage, when I stay in this pose for 10 minutes everyday , I thought 'why not me google it up and see what it does'. I found this...thought it is very useful ..

Its one of the few aasanaas (posture) which has both the soothing and the energising effect !! go to ths link to know how to do this asanaa:

Some poses are for doing, this pose, like Savasana, is for un-doing. This pose is for just being and observing. You become as acutely aware as possible of the processes of your body, your breathing, your tensions and how to release them, and your mental fluctuations. This pose is extremely cooling for your nervous system. Any fatigue, anxiety, or depression will be alleviated with Viparita Karani. adhunaala researchkku romba use!! Mandai kaayaama pathukum!!

When you're exhausted from your day, it's time to go upside-down.While upside down, gravity helps the venous blood-which tends to pool in the legs-return to the heart and vital organs. This "safe" inversion increases blood flow also to the upper body and brain, which helps the body to lower its blood pressure.necka strain pannaama you will do this..

Apart from that, research says that it improves the function of heart and lymphatic vessels implying that it relieves you from pressure and give great immune power!!!

Also, it relieves tired or cramped legs and feet ; gently stretches the back legs, front torso, and the back of the neck ;relieves mild backache; calms the mind.

Moreever, it resolves all problems related to pelvic and abdominal areas. It resolves all complications of reproductive system for both men and women.

Yeh,it really means everything!!!
Yaam petra inbam peruga iv vaiyakam!!

Thursday, August 11, 2005

Lab Kadhai

Enough of all 'soga' blogging!!! Lab kadhai koncham eduthu udaren!!

Pudhu labla, people are very nice here but ore communication comedy...

Indha Pudhu labla naan pesardhu yaarukumee puriyala!! Infact, I am learning to speak differently with different people. Labla amerikaiyaa pesara europeans, cheena tanas, americans ellaam irukaanga..Alreadyee I speak oru maadhiriyaa Customized english!! Ippo kekave vendaam..sodhappal queen ippo naan!!!

When you say 'Hi' to the european, he gives a 'D' look and says 'Good morning' and every evening I am wished 'GOodnight'.

I am like 'I have a long evening to go... why goodnight so soon '.

Next indha ooru makkal...As per Indian standards, I don't speak fast. When people call me fast, I try to make it slow or try to split the word into syllables when I spell - Say 'Venkatakrishnan' as "ven ka ta kri sh nan" to make it easier....But,that makes it worser!!!They are like 'what???'

I repeat..repeat and repeat.

Aprom indha 'cheena thaana'!! Inga en nilamai worst!!! They start guessing what I say, even before I speak a sentence. You speak a long sentence / or a small one - they would just smile! Sometimes, Jokee puriyalanaa kooda adhe smile dhaan!!! When I have not understood some bosy else's joke and I ask them, they coolly say 'its american joke' and just stay mum.

I am like 'ennada idhu, appo en siricheenga!!!'

Indru oru sooper sambhavam!!!

I had some urgent work this morning that I planned to go late. I thought of informing the people. When I dialed, a cheena tana(C) picked up the phone. I started the conversation
P: Hi, I am Priya here.
C:'Wait' (Phone on hold). He started looking out for me in lab.

I was like 'Hey, naan inga dhaanda iruken.. Just pick up the phone'. He came after a while

C: Priya has not yet come. (epdi varuven.. I am here)

Again.I had to repeat and make him understand that I am Priya!!! I repeat words again and again now a days that I feel that If God has destined me to speak x crore number of words in my life span (say 60 years), I will complete them by 30 years only.. aprom oomaiyaa dhaan iruka poren!!!

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

Kovama??? Varuthamaa???

I have always got upset (Varutham) about things going wrong/ with people’s act or behavior. For situations where people say they were angry, I had always felt upset. I could never understand many times how people can get angry. My friends can never understand how I cannot get angry and get Varutham instead. Manasu kashtamaa irukkum... Varthaila vara romba kashtam..

I have had rare moments to know how someone would feel when they are angry. So, when somebody precipites his/her anger on me, I could never understand it. I would be like ‘enna nonsense??’.

Today, I got a good taste of anger. I was extremely irritated by somebody who means nothing to me and who has nothing worthy. That person didnot not know to respect others (feelings). May be this is the second time (third time overall)after I came here that I got this much anger.. Never had I seen such a state of irresistible irritation. I couldn't do anything to get back to normalcy. I thought I should analyse ‘my state’ itself so that I get better.

It's a llot different from being upset/ getting irritated/ just shouting. Here in the state of anger, I see how much pressure I built up within 10 minutes. My hands trembled so much, my heart was aching differently - I could feel that something was occupying my body..No drops of tears..No signs of sadness.. No signs of regret. In my case, I could not even try to show my anger by words.

Previously, the first time, in my 10th class, I was extremely irritated by my friend and I wanted her to understand that she was irritating and as I could not verbalize (though I tried hard) , I finally slapped my friend (the only person whom I hit..bayapadaatheenga!!). Oru sama arai !!! Chance illa…Paavam!! I was upset for the whole day, no food, no sleep and I was waiting to see and beg her to pardon me. But, infact, she felt so guilty of her act and it was she who came up to me begging me pardon even before I did it. I felt even more insulted and decided not to hit anybody, anytime. So, ippo yaarayum adikavum varaadhu!!!

Enakku irundha/irukkara kovathukku 'mathavangala mathikka theriyaadhavangala 'anniyan' stylela yennai kopparaila podanum.illa 'adanguviyaa..adanguviyaa'nnu kekaramaadhiru kazhutha nerikanum'nu thonradhu.. I can't make all people learn to respect others..Atleast I can put my pressure down, learn something and get going..

So is this Blog!!

Getting angry genuinely was such a helpless state. Red eyes, speechless,tight jaws etc. But the good thing about anger is it does not last more than an hour or two. But‘getting upset’lasts longer. .

Overalla, Kovam / Varutham - Devil/ Deep sea??!!!

Thursday, August 04, 2005

Music - the mood modulator

Vara vara vaazhkai romba seriousaa irukko thonradhu..

ennamo yaaro enna soga siraikkulla adaicha mmaari irukku..karaname illaama oru dullness..

siripe varalai..vandhaalum fakeaa varudhu.. enga pathaalum ellarum seriousaa irukkara maari irukku. Infact enna pathu ellarum fakea conversation pannitu edho pinnaadi yosikarangalonnu thonudhu.. mathavangalum enna paathe pesaadha maari oru feeling..last 2 daysaa ipdi dhaan irundhudhu..

Mandai kaanju poyten inniku..

sari 'raaga'la poy paatu kekaalamnnu edho padam click panni paathen..appo 'chinna' padathula ' kaalangaartharla' paatu ketten. Sumar music.. but oru maadhiri lyrics. aana differentaa irukku. Interesting!!!. adha thandi oru maadhiri humming.. Adha kettu sirippu vandhudhuthu!!

Also, ullam ketkume la ' mazhai mazhai', 'kanavul' ketten. Puthunarchi, urchaagam ellam engeyo enna thedi vandhadhu..'vaanam en kaiyil'nnu oru ennam..Everything went extremely well.

Music - the mood modulator.

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Experience speaks..

When we get an oppurtunity to do something new, first and different, we are pretty much excited and anxious to experience the process. We would want anything and everything to go fine at the first trial. Many of us would have things going okay at the first go . Sometimes, you learn great things and tend to think 'yeh, we are set and everything is fine!!'. But the seemingly working things at the first go may not be the right one..When we are forced to take up a second chance, we feel dejected demoralized and demotivated.. We tend to think 'everything was fine till now and why did it not go okay and why should I alone go through a second chance?'

Unusually, I was thinking the other way todayy..Not everybody get a second chance to do the same thing. This time we can correct our mistakes,plan well and get going faster than before.As you have faced a failure/dissapointment before, you can manage it..

Makkale!!! enna ore kadhai solrennu paakareengala?! Today is my first day in the new lab. I liked a lab before and joined with so much passion. But now I have a situation that I have to join another lab and work on a different project...2 years before, I was at the same state like today 'poona kutti maari bayandha paarvai' , formal statements 'hi, nice meeting you', questioning everybody 'where is the cooler.where is the vending machine here ' etc, with thoughts like 'i have to be good, sincere and sensible'etc. Enna.. student id, ssn idhellam thirumba vaanga vendaam.

Otherwise, thirumbi adhe pointukku vandhutenno oru varutham.. But as I said 'not everybody get a second chance to do something again in life'. Now that I know what/how i shall/ shall not do/deal with many issues. We can definitely do better when experience speaks.

Vaazhkailayum indha attitude valandha nalladhu dhaan!!hmnn.. enga.. kudhira-kombaa irukku!!!

Thursday, July 28, 2005

Malai nizhalin maragadha MANJAL....

Turmeric (Manjal) is the most IMPORTANT & AUSPICIOUS substance in every Hindu function. I thought that we should all know something about it.

Turmeric (Curcuma longa) is a member of the ginger family and has long been used for healing. Ayurveda, Siddha, Unani, and other traditional medicine systems practiced in India have relied on this pungent spice for centuries

In India (and to some extent in China), turmeric has been used for centuries to treat indigestion and a host of other ailments. But it was considered only a culinary spice in many other parts of the world until the early 1970s, when laboratory researchers discovered notable inflammation-fighting compounds called curcuminoids in the herb.

Researchers discovered that turmeric (especially the curcumin component) has rich stores of antioxidants (disease fighting substance) which mop up unstable oxygen molecules (called free radicals) that can otherwise damage cells and cause diseases such as cancer. Antioxidants are also powerful preservatives, which help to explain why turmeric has long been sprinkled on food to help retain its freshness.

In animal studies and human trial, turmeric also showed promise in lowering cholesterol levels and fighting atherosclerosis, a buildup of fatty deposits in the arteries that can lead to heart attack. It effect on neurologic diseases, such as Multiple sclerosis and even Alzheimer's, was spurred by the realization that elderly Indian populations that consume considerable amounts of turmeric in their diet are far less likely than their Western counterparts to develop such ailments.

Today, turmeric is widely recommended for treating stomach ulcers and skin infections, arthritis, and joint inflammation, ease indigestion, excess gas (flatulence), bloating, and other mild stomach upset and prevents cancer

Also, yellow color (paint) is generally used to give caution as yellow color causes cooling stimulation in the brain. Each and every one of us emit brain wave and the wavelength differs from person to person. The benefit of regularizing ones own brain wave length is activated for those who apply it regularly. And to regularize the wave length hindu women used to apply kum kum made out of pure turmeric. Also, it seems, it is very difficult to hypnotize or mesmerize a person who applies turmeric spot regularly in one's fore head.

Many communities from South India apply turmeric paste in their fore head. I heard that this strengthens their brain wave length and also it avoids scattering wave and sends signals in a focused manner.

Biopiracy has been happening to patent manjal and its uses by researchers at U.S though many people don't actually know its use. Steps are being taken by indian activists to stop such things...

Anyways, let's hereafter use manjal, get antioxidants, fight against diseases and take care of ourselves!!!

Thursday, July 21, 2005

Acceptance - the strength!!!

We all have lost something, sometime, somewhere!!! No matter whatever it is, we have all lost it!!!

Sometimes, we realise that we lost it just immediately after it is actually lost.This is really shocking and we tend to feel it like a spark - xtremely painful and we may feel so much for it but we may tend to forget them soon. Say for example, we loose a precious materialistic possession/ sudden death/ loss of our close people.

Sometimes, we can feel while we are actually loosing it!!! That is really a long lasting pain and you just can't bear those moments. Its unimaginably painful and you can't hold the loss. You can't let it go.. You can't do anything about it also. You think about it day in and day out inspite of your routine/ schedule!!! You can't do anything properly!!! You can't show it anywhere too!!! Say for example, thinking about the loss of somebody with some uncurable disease or loosing an argument or spoiling the first game in a series and feeling the overall loss (though how much so ever you fair better in the next ones, you will end up loosing).

Another case is where you dont even feel you have lost it, though, others say that you have lost it..this is a bliss !!! Typical examples are the complaints from parents /friends that 'you dont behave respectfully / you were not careful abt money etc.'

No matter what ever you loose or whatever path you are while losing, 'acceptance' is something which has to be learnt. Infact, many people, during arguments, when they are actually getting convinced by the opposite one's sensible, logical explanation , they can't accept it. Rarely I see people saying from 'this is only right' confessing 'hey, i never thought this way.. yeh u r actually right'. Instead, they either get too verbose or say something and prove that they are also not wrong!!!They can't accept that they have to loose the argument as the opponent's words are much more logical!!

Learning to accept that it is not there has to come from 'self'(may be that is called maturity). Lamentations or sharing grieves, though may be soothing, can reduce the intensity of the lessons (of acceptance) you ought to learn from the loss. This is because sorrows love company and when you get company, you want to enjoy the feel of being sorrowful.. Believe me, though many of us claim that we don't like to be sad, we all love to stay and enjoy the sadness though it may not be in the crowd!!! Its a nice feeling but you can progress nowhere due to some of its components like selfpity and inferiority complex!! Its very easy to talk or even understand what is happening to you. But you won't practically implement it, as your mind needs something to chew and relish the sadness!!!

Once we learn to accept it, we can get going. Not that you will forget it, but you will accept it. Believe me, its THE strength!!!

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Strange feel - songs !!!

When I listen to some songs, I imagine that something is happening to me/around me...some are pretty weird !!

I was listening to this song 'Noodhanaa noodhana'. When I listen to this, I get this 'Uyir oosalaadum' feel - engeyo oru edathula konchamaa uyira otti innoru pakathula pidichu izhukaara maari oru feel. Song pooravum andha pull irukum!!! This song brings a kutti smile on my face when I enjoy the lyrics. (The love is described neatly with very less obscenity which is also perfectly hidden under beautiful and dynamic tune )

When I hear the song 'Pudhu kaadhal kaalam idhu', I feel I am on a giant wheel and I am dropped from top.. Infact, i think this song can take anyone out of unbearable sadness/heavyness and make you light..

The song 'Pulveli Pulveli' makes me feel like I am moving into a forest with lots of herbs, shrubs and trees. Edho kaatu vaasi maari wander panra maari oru feel !!!

The song 'Manmadha Raasa' makes me feel that I am sitting on fire and I just cant listen to it fully!!!!

Last but not the least, the song from thiruvasagam 'puvekonum konum..' mesmerises me so much that if I close my eyes, I am swapped by some people to some other world.
'Senroothaai' pull again makes me do some swinging!!!!
and 'putril vaaz aravum anjen' made me cry and cry for no reason (a different feel). It would help you identify your 'self' and the bhakthi is inculcated implicitly with no efforts!!!

Friday, July 08, 2005

Strange loss !!!

Today, I came towards the elevator in a dull mood and I was waiting for it to open..The light was on. It never opened. I thought I should push the button and pushed it again and again but it never opened .." Ennada idhu koncham munnadi kooda vela senchudhu, whats wrong. Am I in my senses??" After the confusion, I realized that the problem was not on me..It was not working!!

Vaazhkaiyla makkal 'edha enga eppo'tholapaangannu sollave mudiyaadhu!!!!You may never know what good/ bad would follow it!!! But its amazing to see that an incident may cause some good to one and some problems to others and it does not affect some at all.

Namma TOX thalaivar, adhaan 'v', soga mugathoda labkku vandhaar!!!
me:Elevator vela seiyalaye Paathiyaa!!!
V: Adha en kekara priya!!!

V panna kadhaiya kelunga!!!

V ponnunga kitta sama scene poduvaar (sorry, etiquettes paarpar) - opening /holding /closing the door/elevator etc.. V came to the elevator and saw a lady rushing towards the elevator..sir gudugudunnu poyi he blocked the elevator from closing.. That lady entered in and pressed the close button immediately..ayya 'kai' maatikumnnu bayandhu vedukkunnnu kai edhthaar.. kaiyla irundha cell phone vizhundhudhu..

Elevatorla thaanennu kepeenga!!! No!!!it was neither outside nor inside the elevator It was into the elevator.. Adhaavadhu Elevatorrukku ulla... Elevatorukkulla andha kutti groovela epdithaan vizhumo??? Adhu azhagaa ground floor varaikkum ponadha vera paarthaaraam namma v!!! erkanave samathiya 'paathram' rangekku adivaangi 'dent'ulla phone adhu!!Paavam elevator groundla anaadhayaa kedakku!!!

one good thing was 'En dullnes poyi naan vayiru valikka sirichu sirichu bloge ezhuthiten!!!' Aana paavam 'dept'e padi eri poguthu 'v' naala!!

Vaazhkaiyala phonea ipdi kooda tholaika mudiyum makkale!!! Aana mani adichaa eduka mudiyaadhu!! Sorry v !! Un sogatha bloga ezhudhiten. My deepest condolences!!!!

Thursday, June 23, 2005


Anniyan - The first Tamil movie screened at Lexington.

In srirangam temple, you are supposed to visit 'Thuluka Naachiyyaar' sannidhi and then only, get the darshan of Ranganathar.. Adhu maari, for the past three weeks, I get up, listen to anniyan songs and only after that, I get ready for lab.. Great expectations!!! Yeh, I finally watched the movie.

Movie: Another 'Indian - Ramana' masala. Though the concept was not new, I thought it was ok.

Concept: The 'iyengar saadhu' vikram conveyed nicely that "If everyone does a mistake, it may not become right'. The '5 kaasa, 5 kodiper, 5 kodi murai thirudina chinna thappu Periyaa thappu aagum' example would reach even the illiterate.Good!!

Acting: Vikram and Vivek - sooper. Sadhaa - Konchamaadhu dance panna try panniyirukalam..( thalaivi sim irundhirundha kalaki irupaanga). Actkku badhil overaction varudhu paatu paadarache.. Charlie did his small role quite well. 'Puzzle' Prakashraj was okay.

Script: I liked Vikram's portion of the script esp. when they show heights of his perfection when he writes love letter. But, split personalitynnu therinja udane namma prabhu 'chandramukhi'la "enna kodumai sir idhu"nnu oru azhukai azhuvaar- Inga sadhaa/ vikram's appa rolela oru sad reactione illa..highly unnatural.
Many subtle errors like perumal 'kubitutu' instead of 'sevichutu'

Song choreography: My greatest dissapointment was on 'Remo' song.. Though, they wanted to portary him just as rampwalk model, the music demanded better dance steps. But emaatram!!
Iyengar veetu azhage song - waste of money in all those sets - simplea half-saree/veshti pottu (nethichuti,odiyaanam pottu) kovila eduthirundhakooda bettera irundhirukkum..
kannum kannum nokia was better.
Andangkaakaha song was good but, sadhaa vaayila lipstick pottundhadhunaala vaaya moodave illa..pretty odd!!
O sukumari songla I liked the way she showed 'kaadhal sikki mukki thiki vikudha' in action!!

Lyrics/music: 'Naan thotru poven enru anjiye, en thervaiyellam otthiveikiren' - very realistic.. I just love this line and the music!!!
'Un pol azhagi ulaginil illai,inemal pirandhal adhu nam pilla' - 'nachunnu' ava beautyaa sonnan.
'Magarandha podi..vannam kondaano'- sooper.
'Thayangathey thodangattum azhakiyaa thavarugal'- cute!!!
'Andangkaakha - 'Eera udhatula soodu parappi isthiri podendi'- sama lines...Jessi gift kural apt..
Filler: Harappa, Mohenjdara, Hiroshima, Nagasaki in remo song (as felt like VS)
Fight: I enjoy good fight in movies. Here, avlo pikala..Martial arts fight was shot well but some portions were not natural.

Anyway, I had a good time watching a tamil movie- 3 hrs ponadhey theriyala!!

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Embarrassment - a selfconscious distress

Embarrassment is such a situation that you would never want in your life.. I had such a situation recently wherein it was neither due to myself nor by my friends. Asking who is it????? Read ahead...

I am planning to join a new lab in the near future and I had to meet my new mentor M) to get introduced to people there. I had been to his office and we had this welcoming talk ' Hi Priya .. we would love to have you with us bla bla.." and me " its my pleasure.. thanks...etc" Then, tring ... tring...(phone call)

Voice : We are calling from U.K Animal house. All (except one) of the mice in cage 'xyz' of yours are pregnant"
M : (furiously) What???? I just can't believe..
M got back to me: Priya, let me introduce u to people in my lab and I have to talk to a new student in my lab.

I followed him along. Got introduced to everyone. Finally was this student he mentioned. Ms Y - She is neither an indian, nor american..edho european country! She is chinna ponnu and she looked pretty with loose hair, great skin and nice outfit..

Me: Hi
Y: (in a low tone, softly with her head facing down) Hi
My Vennai(as like kay): Ivlo shyaa???...Why can I never be like that?...ipdi dhaan pasangala mayaka try pannuvaangalo...
M: This is Priya and she is from that lab ..etc..He went on....on.
Y: (Just a small smile! smile maadhiri onnu )....
My Vennai: Smile kooda kanjamaa...idhu romba over!! ennala mudiyaadhu paa!!
She spoke something. Her tone, accent and voice were so odd and I had to keenly watch her to understand her.
My Vennai: Idhu shyaa theriyalaye priya.. koncham edho thappu panna lookaa iruke!!!.Experimenta sodhapitaa pola irukku!! Nammalum sodhappina ipdi dhaan moonji vechikanum.. appo dhaan men paavamnnu uttuduvaangalo?!!

Vasagargale!! This is for you to understand better!! In general, we buy mice from animal house when they are young and sort them in cages, say like 5 mice in a cage and let them get acclimated till they become adults (may be around for 3-5weeks). Then, we use for expts. We just buy mice of the specific gender we are interested in, based on our experimantal need. Each cage has rats of the same gender. In this lab, recently they used pregnant mice for their expt. So, kutti ilavasam illaya!!! So, they designed another expt for these where they allowed the litters to grow up and then they planned to use that. Those are the kuttis in 'xyz' cage.

M: I got a message from animal house that mice in cage xyz are pregnant.. They are the ones which are the litters of the pregnant mice used in previous expt before 2 months right!!
Y:(hesitantly with self conscious distress) Yeh!!
M: Then how come they are pregnant?
Udane en kurukku buddhi answera kandupidichiduthu!!!
My Vennai: Priya, shhh.. ne dirtyyaa yoasikadha.wait and see...I felt sorry for Y. Saadhu ponnu !!
Y :(starts hesitantly) I had ...I did separate the litters when they were born..But I am sorry ..some how I could not...It is due to the brother...
My Vennai: Your guess was absolutely right Priya!!!!! (I was giggling like anything within myself....)
M was asking Y to explain..paavam avar saadhuvaa irundhar!! avalukka - romba kashtam..enakka - peche varala (rare moment). Oru vazhiyaa he understood. The worst thing was he thought I didnot understand

M: Did you understand what happened?
Me: Yeh..
My Vennai: Idhu kooda puriyaadhu enakku.. Y, while separating newly born male and female litters (from preg mouse cage) made a mistake and she left one male with 4 of his sisters. andha brother ella sister kittayum velaya kaatitaan..adhaane!!!

M (freea vidala) : (Trying to explain me that..I was embarrased to listen to the whole thing. But manasukkula sama sirippu..But I listened..)
Finally, M asked a question to me. Idhaan weightu!!!
M: Did you understand How was that?
I thought that to be two sentences and I answered!!!
ME: Oh yeh !! that was funny..
M: No expression on his face....Gave a thoughtful Berkeley look..he was thinking something further...(enakku mudhala puriyala..aprom purinjudhu) Then he stared like why am I saying so.
Now I was totally embarrased due to myself..Worstu!!!
Y: Smiled finally..
Aprom, I understood that "Oho, when we get educated better (after entering into PhD), we should also think about the incident instead of just enjoying the fun like a common man..

Yeh!! you may never know who can embarrass you at what moment and what will you learn from where !!!