Tuesday, October 25, 2005

On the road to Discipline!!

Enna daa idhu !!! Wondering what lecture Priya is gonna give on Discipline?? Lectura ellam illa!! Just thought of sharing some things that happened at my side.
How things changed at MY side too!! May be a useful piece for some..for others this post may be a time pass!

My home: Well, I am the only and the not so naughty kid at my home. Though no nastying home kind, I was not organize ..infact, not taught/learned to be organized

My Appa is somebody who keeps his shelves pretty clean - infact empty and throws much of the kuppai from his shelves to the common shelves in living room and waits for a chance to claim at a smallest kuppai that 'veetla neenga rendru perum thaan kuppai podareenga' !!! Futurela, rooomates kitta kooda naan sanda pottadhilla.. But, 'Appa'vukkum enakkum eppayumee gusthidhaan - trying to blame each other' ! Amma, a very calm person who never yelled at us anytime till now, would try to clean up all the common mess !

My hostel life: When I joined hostel for undergrad, I, in general was okay - folded bedsheets properly, cleaned the room so well, washed clothes everyday...But, during times of exams, my room would turn upside down..When I start searching a micro tipped pen/a graph sheet(some things which I dont use everyday) or a before a tough exam, everything would be disturbed..Bed full of clothes, papers on floor, books scattered on study table - sindhubhairavi suhaasini veedu dhaan!!! I used to think that it is the norm. Everybody is like that!! But, puzzled why everything is disturbed by just a single search!! Still my mind was pretty inquisitive to see how about others!!! My sidie (the girl in next door) was worse...but, never bothered in being so . My oppie / friend was pretty good but she claimed her cleanliness/organized act so much that my... never let me accept that she is better organized than me.
My attitude: And, there are/were many cleanliness freaks around me who would wash face and hands atleast 10 times a day, won't eat vegetables (vellerikai/ potato)/ apple with cover tholi, talk so much about cleanliness but they would still bite nails, scratch their nose, have an
infection untreated for days and wont even remember their last month utilty bill / pay checks , would pay 25 dollar late fee for credit card just out of carelessness.. Such people's act have made me feel ' Priya, its okay if you sit with 20 papers scattered around you before an exam and read leave it on floor for 2 days/ if your study table is disturbed during every search of something. Its lots better than all other's act.. Though I am right in the way in saying what I should not do, my attitude on being more organized (looking at others fault and not correcting mine) was again non sense..I realized it when I moved alone in 2003.

"Acceptance is Strength"- a lesson I learned:
When I moved alone, I could not put the fault on others..I sincerely HAD TO accept to me 'Priya, you have to accept that you have to improve in keeping your things properly at all times'.I got time to think about why I have to improve/how can I get better.
Why? - I don't have any rules/feeling incorporated within me stating 'this' has to be like 'that'. In short - no discipline in me.
How? I decided to work on this module by module and look for improvement every week. I will try
to just follow just one rule or two - do it and make it a part of me like brushing teeth / taking bath. When it goes into me, then I will think about the next thing!!

The first thing I decided was 'I am not going to keep anything/let others keep on floor in the living room.. not a book or an umbrella or slipper or my bag.. nothing'!! I started taking my bag into the room and drop it in..If a guest drops something, i will take it and put it myself (which would make him be so at my home )... Waiting for him/her to do will not help !!!
What a great change u know??.. I never had to be scared/cautious if somebody comes to my home all of a sudden!!
Next was, I will always put my shoes only in the rack when I come home howsoever tired I am..Then were the study papers .. Started planning one by one.. just blindly follow and not think about over all discipline/ cleanliness.
Implementing multi-tasks was tougher at the beginning.. But when I incorporate the first thing, I never had to remember and consciously do that. I had to remember that week's plan alone..That made life easier.. Rewarding statements from my friends motivated me !!!

Observe your friends: Things gradually improved and is improving. Analysing and incorporating a small thing by observing good aspects of others has made me better and better! The best examples are these :
My roomie after we arrange all things got from Walmart, will fold every polythene cover and put it on a box over the fridge. I was amazed at her act!!! Never it struck my head. She never enforced me but now, I am doing it too. When I/ somebody need/s a cover, I can unfold and give it to them with so much pride ( and not pick/pull out from a bag full of covers nastily ).

Last week, I heard my friend RC say "After he/ his roomie cooks, everybody would admire that their electric stove would look so clean as though they never cooked" . I thought why not this be my next goal. My stove should look always so.
Ofcourse, there are friends who motivated me not to do certain things by their act like cooking things in an uncleanly atmosphere like with all veggies tholis/ spice boxes in and around the cooking table..

Perseverance: I have had days when I feel all these are nonsense and too much of discipline would spoil my freedom and would make me mechanical and not follow any of these. But the truth is people like me will not go too much discplined :) and its all that day's mood. But, I think , getting back again and starting things fresh would BE the best thing that can make us better !!

Our growth: After looking at people who think that keeping their things/ home okay is not their priority. I got a question on my mind!!
'When somebody doesnot even give reasonable priority to organize their things ( get little disciplined) at this age, what sort of mental growth have they/we achieved from their/our undergrad to master's/Phd.?? and how, all of a sudden will they/we get ready to lead a family/take care of their old parents/young kids ?? Are such lack of awareness / less priority leading to raising poor individuals??
I dont know!!!

Planning and working on small modules can make somebody like me ( a zero at the start) grow a lot better and though I have a llong way to go (Still I search my keys every alternate day !!), I am happy that I have realized it..

Now a days, you can't expect your spouse/family to be like our amma who will clean/take care of our mess too !! Naalaikku unga veetla idha enforce panna ungalukku 'kurudana pudichu 'raajamuzhi' muzhinnu sonna epdi irukumo, apdi irukkum!!:)'
So makkale, I think its hi-time we start thinking about it.

24 comments:

Anonymous said...

hai,
I just saw your blog (cleanliness talk {blah...blah..blah}).I have a Ph.D in analysing the truth in what people write and I work for the government.I am following your blogs closely for sometime now. I cant resist saying that u blog sounds very phony and has full of thing that you think you do but dont.Please correct me if i am wrong....
This is for research purpose only
Thank you,
Sincerely,
Anon

Priya said...

hey anon,
Obviously, I would say that I genuinely write what I feel/do.

If you are just guessing/judging just through my posts and framing such opinion, its just the way you see me. what can I say/correct???Its ur feel!!

If you know me , then you would not feel/say so!!

Arjuna_Speaks said...

Priya - again that seems to be a SPAM - no use replying to them :)

Priya-regd cleanliness! Have u heard about obsessive compulsive disorder! I have that when it comes to cleanliness! I wash my hands umpteen no. of times before I eat! Most importantly I dont use others toilets!

First of all - do u throw things on the roads? I used to throw things on the roads before - but nowdays I have vowed not to dirty and insult Mother Earth!So people can improve their discipline with such minor things :)

The biggest problem I am facing is in the organizing business! I cant organize my bills/statements etc - I am so impatient - that I just keep all that on the table - and one fine day I organize it - the worst thing is I check all my bank statements without opening the envelope in full! I just check whether anyone else has taken the money :))

Arjuna_Speaks said...

Btw - check my blog for this guy's amazing voice - he is just too good and out of the world!

Ho u have turned the word verification - that means the first one is not a SPAM!

Subha said...

Priya,
What you say is true. I think I've told you this in person also..:) Discipline doesn't constrict freedom; it gives you more freedom to do the things you REALLY want to do..
I'd like to think that though I am not really disciplined, I am to some extent...of course, you'd know that better..what say? :)
As far as your roomie goes, yeah, she's something!:)

Subha said...

Priya,
What you say is true. I think I've told you this in person also..:) Discipline doesn't constrict freedom; it gives you more freedom to do the things you REALLY want to do..
I'd like to think that though I am not really disciplined, I am to some extent...of course, you'd know that better..what say? :)
As far as your roomie goes, yeah, she's something!:)

Priya said...

hey subha
yeh, u r right and
my roomie is a silent teacher.. we have to just observe things and learn..

hey arjuna
When I was working for psychiatry division at chennai, I have had discussion with doctors on OCD. Ungalukku OCD irukkumaannu theriyala..But OCD patients are not necesaarily disciplined.

I dont throw even the smallest cover/ attadappa assuming I will use it for craft work/kolu..etc
I accumulate things like this at home.When I use them I pat myself but otherwise I am upset with me for dirtying home..

hmm, reg organizing bills , I have folders separate for utitlies, paychecks, bank etc and a punching machine next to it. its so nice to see the bills together...

and i have activated verification as u said and blogrolled.. next would be sahaayaa!!!

Priya said...

subha
ne yaaru !!! 'llb' aache!! nee evlo disciplined..
saturday sunday naan first time thoongi ezhinthirukarche ne second time afternoon sleepkku ponathellaam marakka mudiyumaa!!

யாத்திரீகன் said...

priya,
Organized-aa irundha adhuku peru Museum, Kalanju irundhaa thaama adhuku peru Veedu (apdika sivaji style-la padichikonga ;-)

other than that, every sat i clean the house and in the week my roomies throw things all arnd and it becomes a mess in just 2 days... tired of it..

-
செந்தில் / Senthil

Arjuna_Speaks said...

"I dont throw even the smallest cover/ attadappa assuming I will use it for craft work/kolu..etc"

U r like my father - who doesnt throw anything! He doesnt even throw his nasal tissues! :))

I throw everything that is extra into the dustbin..

Ganesh said...

Very interesting.
" 'kurudana pudichu 'raajamuzhi' muzhinnu sonna epdi irukumo, apdi irukkum!!:)'
So makkale, I think its hi-time we start thinking about it." eppaid ippadi correct sollareenga ;)

Priya said...

@ Sendhil
roommateskku soranai illanna onnum panna mudiyadhudhaan!! but many girls manage this by territory principle.. idhellam en edam ; athellam un idam; pasanga apdi illa - namma edam principle..

may be u can identify which area they make it more nasty and try to tell them with just one thing/rule say like " dont just put things on floor".

generalla ne kuppai podarannu sonna onnum nadakaadhu..ipdi specificaa onna mattum enforce pannaa it may work little better and ur work may get reduced..

edho enakku therijadha solren!!! try panni paathutu solunga!

@ arjuna
idhu enna comparison appa kooda. .nasal tissue reuse vera pannamudiyumaa enna:)

en things evlo perukku use theriyuma.. en things
bday gifts boxaa udhavum; painting baseaa udhavum; tissue paper suthi vandha atta flower vaseaa standaa/ pen standaa maarum;

enna kaatula/olai veetla uttaa kooda veetuku neccessar things set panniduven theriyumaa.. ipdi solliteengale:)

@ganesh
nichamaa apdi dhaan irukkum.. basic disciplinee illadha aalukitta kudumba baratha vechha pinna ennanu compare panna sollunga!!

avane kurudan .. avana pathu rajamuzhi muzhinnu sonna avan enna pannuvaan paarunga:)

TJ said...

first, i belive,
discpline is abt doing the same thing in the same defined way every time. 'Vechachdhu vecha idathula irukkanum' is an example for that.
cleanliness is abt seperation of things and objects. Vacuuming, dusting, organizing the table, all of them are actions, when we subtly try to classify things and put them in place together.

Adhnaala, indha insticnt ellam shud start at home. Aathla solli koduthu valarthirundha, ellam thaana varum. Just matter of time, avlodhaan

R.Subramanian said...

romba periya post ah irukkunga priya..athuvum lecture nu vera soliteengala ;) full ah padikkale.......... but title and first para vachu sollanumna aduthavanglukku thollai tharatha varaikum naama disciplined ah thaan irukkom nu artham.... i mean as long as our actions doesnt hurt / disturb others

Anonymous said...

Police Minndai training poirukiya ?
:)
-Vasu

Anonymous said...

Minnadi police training poirikiya ?

Arjuna_Speaks said...

Priya - check my blog for a surprise :)

SARVAM SRIARUNACHALAARPANAMASTHU!

Arjuna_Speaks said...

Priya - sure I wuld send the updated form soon - give me some time :)

SARVAM SRIARUNACHALAARPANAMASTHU!

Arjuna_Speaks said...

Priya - one more thing - since ur free nowdays - do read this:

http://davidgodman.org/asaints/powerofa1.shtml

Prabu Karthik said...

Discipline - english la enakku pidikaada orey vaarthai :D

but seriously, rombo nalla post priya.

enga amma adikadi solvaanga
'Dei, ipdi irukaadhey da. aprom un pontaati vandu, "pillai valarthirukkara lakshanathai paaru" nu ennai vandhu kuthuva' nu.
:))
edavadu dialogue solli samalippen.
but i know thats true and there is a lot of scope for improvement.

Priya said...

hey pk,
my amma will scare me up with mamiyaar fundaa ' un mamiyar enna kaari thuppuva etc etc' .

Sometime , i was really frustrated with mamiyaar thing and i used to fight with mom like this' unna vida en mamiyar enna padhutha maata'

but i didn't learn much b4and i am learning now a llot!!

யாத்திரீகன் said...

kita thita 3 vaaram kalichu oru aavesathoda room clean panna arambichaen, pani mudichadhum andha clean room-ai paakum bodhu oru second evlo thrupthi-ya irundhuchu..

aana innum rendu naazh-la palayabadi maara pogudhu.. :-((

-
செந்தில்/Senthil

Priya said...

roommatesaa thorathidunga!!! adhaan best!!

Anonymous said...

Just a suggestion: stick one of pastic hooks right behind the front door - for keys. They moment you enter you can put it away; and don't have to look for it when you leave.
Leaving it in any other place may tempt us to walk into the living room with shoes on- when we are in a hurry to leave but don't find the keys!
:)