Enna daa idhu !!! Wondering what lecture Priya is gonna give on Discipline?? Lectura ellam illa!! Just thought of sharing some things that happened at my side.
How things changed at MY side too!! May be a useful piece for some..for others this post may be a time pass!
My home: Well, I am the only and the not so naughty kid at my home. Though no nastying home kind, I was not organize ..infact, not taught/learned to be organized
My Appa is somebody who keeps his shelves pretty clean - infact empty and throws much of the kuppai from his shelves to the common shelves in living room and waits for a chance to claim at a smallest kuppai that 'veetla neenga rendru perum thaan kuppai podareenga' !!! Futurela, rooomates kitta kooda naan sanda pottadhilla.. But, 'Appa'vukkum enakkum eppayumee gusthidhaan - trying to blame each other' ! Amma, a very calm person who never yelled at us anytime till now, would try to clean up all the common mess !
My hostel life: When I joined hostel for undergrad, I, in general was okay - folded bedsheets properly, cleaned the room so well, washed clothes everyday...But, during times of exams, my room would turn upside down..When I start searching a micro tipped pen/a graph sheet(some things which I dont use everyday) or a before a tough exam, everything would be disturbed..Bed full of clothes, papers on floor, books scattered on study table - sindhubhairavi suhaasini veedu dhaan!!! I used to think that it is the norm. Everybody is like that!! But, puzzled why everything is disturbed by just a single search!! Still my mind was pretty inquisitive to see how about others!!! My sidie (the girl in next door) was worse...but, never bothered in being so . My oppie / friend was pretty good but she claimed her cleanliness/organized act so much that my... never let me accept that she is better organized than me.
My attitude: And, there are/were many cleanliness freaks around me who would wash face and hands atleast 10 times a day, won't eat vegetables (vellerikai/ potato)/ apple with cover tholi, talk so much about cleanliness but they would still bite nails, scratch their nose, have an
infection untreated for days and wont even remember their last month utilty bill / pay checks , would pay 25 dollar late fee for credit card just out of carelessness.. Such people's act have made me feel ' Priya, its okay if you sit with 20 papers scattered around you before an exam and read leave it on floor for 2 days/ if your study table is disturbed during every search of something. Its lots better than all other's act.. Though I am right in the way in saying what I should not do, my attitude on being more organized (looking at others fault and not correcting mine) was again non sense..I realized it when I moved alone in 2003.
"Acceptance is Strength"- a lesson I learned:
When I moved alone, I could not put the fault on others..I sincerely HAD TO accept to me 'Priya, you have to accept that you have to improve in keeping your things properly at all times'.I got time to think about why I have to improve/how can I get better.
Why? - I don't have any rules/feeling incorporated within me stating 'this' has to be like 'that'. In short - no discipline in me.
How? I decided to work on this module by module and look for improvement every week. I will try
to just follow just one rule or two - do it and make it a part of me like brushing teeth / taking bath. When it goes into me, then I will think about the next thing!!
The first thing I decided was 'I am not going to keep anything/let others keep on floor in the living room.. not a book or an umbrella or slipper or my bag.. nothing'!! I started taking my bag into the room and drop it in..If a guest drops something, i will take it and put it myself (which would make him be so at my home )... Waiting for him/her to do will not help !!!
What a great change u know??.. I never had to be scared/cautious if somebody comes to my home all of a sudden!!
Next was, I will always put my shoes only in the rack when I come home howsoever tired I am..Then were the study papers .. Started planning one by one.. just blindly follow and not think about over all discipline/ cleanliness.
Implementing multi-tasks was tougher at the beginning.. But when I incorporate the first thing, I never had to remember and consciously do that. I had to remember that week's plan alone..That made life easier.. Rewarding statements from my friends motivated me !!!
Observe your friends: Things gradually improved and is improving. Analysing and incorporating a small thing by observing good aspects of others has made me better and better! The best examples are these :
My roomie after we arrange all things got from Walmart, will fold every polythene cover and put it on a box over the fridge. I was amazed at her act!!! Never it struck my head. She never enforced me but now, I am doing it too. When I/ somebody need/s a cover, I can unfold and give it to them with so much pride ( and not pick/pull out from a bag full of covers nastily ).
Last week, I heard my friend RC say "After he/ his roomie cooks, everybody would admire that their electric stove would look so clean as though they never cooked" . I thought why not this be my next goal. My stove should look always so.
Ofcourse, there are friends who motivated me not to do certain things by their act like cooking things in an uncleanly atmosphere like with all veggies tholis/ spice boxes in and around the cooking table..
Perseverance: I have had days when I feel all these are nonsense and too much of discipline would spoil my freedom and would make me mechanical and not follow any of these. But the truth is people like me will not go too much discplined :) and its all that day's mood. But, I think , getting back again and starting things fresh would BE the best thing that can make us better !!
Our growth: After looking at people who think that keeping their things/ home okay is not their priority. I got a question on my mind!!
'When somebody doesnot even give reasonable priority to organize their things ( get little disciplined) at this age, what sort of mental growth have they/we achieved from their/our undergrad to master's/Phd.?? and how, all of a sudden will they/we get ready to lead a family/take care of their old parents/young kids ?? Are such lack of awareness / less priority leading to raising poor individuals??
I dont know!!!
Planning and working on small modules can make somebody like me ( a zero at the start) grow a lot better and though I have a llong way to go (Still I search my keys every alternate day !!), I am happy that I have realized it..
Now a days, you can't expect your spouse/family to be like our amma who will clean/take care of our mess too !! Naalaikku unga veetla idha enforce panna ungalukku 'kurudana pudichu 'raajamuzhi' muzhinnu sonna epdi irukumo, apdi irukkum!!:)'
So makkale, I think its hi-time we start thinking about it.