Saturday, December 10, 2005

Sindhai Sidharal - Final

Disclaimer: Whatever I suggest is just my thoughts. I dont claim that it is THE only way to classify / help others. Thanks for your patience in reading a long post!!

Okay !! Well, we were discussing about the common misconceptions in mental illness. What can we do about it?? We would think that we dont get to move with mentally ill people quite often. All we could do is just give money, show some sympathy etc.. I think we all can do much more in our day to day life...Let us THINK and see things as Q & A.
In general, mental illness go hand in hand with emotional disturbance - one may be the cause or result of the other. But, who are prone to emotional disturbance? Anybody at terrible moments /situation. Biologically, at this stage there is a slight disturbance which need not have to be treated.
How it becomes quite often and lead to illness? Once after we see such a terrible moment, it is easy to get to such an extreme state often (As we have been there, we tend to increase our emotional elasticity). We start to behave eccentric regularly. This may have to be treated.
But, who are more susceptible to such repetetive mental sickness ?People with strong emotional component - genetically or acquired through the way they are brought up !!
And,what can lead/ aggravate to mental illness ?Surrounding - people around them and the individuals' attitude towards people.
How can we make their life better ? For this, I would classify them into 2 - Class 1: People declared as mentally ill by doctors Class 2: Normal people who get mentally sick quite often (possibly leading to mental illness) Class 2 can be further classified as 1. Explicity sick 2. Not explicitly sick.

Class 1 DO's and Don'ts:
1. When we see mental patients visibly sick somewhere, we can avoid eye to eye contacts/ smile/ stare/ sympathy as we can avoid their hallucinations that we are looking to hurt them/ tease them. Oru thadava vellorla, a patient took my cap and was not willing to give back as I was kindaa staring at him.
2. When we meet them, we can put up a normal look with a pleasant smile and say a 'hi' & Listen to them patiently as that would give some confidence and trust on us which would help in recovery.
3. We shall forget their illness and treat them like a friend (even if artificial, its okay. They would be preoccupied with what they wish to say or in trying to find if we are really trustable, they might not think it to be artificial generally) and not show sympathy through words.

Class 2: Do's and Don'ts:
1. If we see somebody getting mentally upset/ angry often explicitly, we tend to think he/ she has changed a lllot and they are not close to us anymore... May be its is better to ask whats the problem. Otherwise, people would start assuming things.But, he may not share with you and that may affect your 'self'. Ofcourse, appo appo namma 'selfa' koncham mootai kattanum. May be if he is willing to share, he may consider it and that may not pile up his mental sickness.
2. Healthy fun is always a healing medicine for people around. We tend to forget all our worries during those moments and we get better.Thanks to pb for all the humor.. (evlavo makkala kodumai paduthinaalum ) Unga sense of humor naala, you have been a best medicine for many people. So much punniyam for you !!!
3. Sports: When we can see yourself/ somebody around us getting sick often, we can do some sport activity (with them). Our(their) hormonal balance is maintained and we (they) tend to get normal sooner.
4. Haircut: Heard from a friend yesterday that it seems we tend to meddle up with our hair when we are mentally sick. (lexington makkale, enakku idhu theriyadhu munnadi...)

For both Class and Others: Ofcourse, we can do monetary help to mental asyylum. Once in a while, we can tend to spend time with them (and do not react to what they say/ do). Only then we will stop cribbing that 'enakkku adhristamee illa' and we have to do so much for others.

Anbe Sivam / How to EXPRESS heartfelt committment of love, the divine language??
Why when we show so much love and affection to somebody (Ill / Normal) still people dont get satisfied. They have complaints against us. Are they good or bad ? Are we doing right or wrong? Its not that. Its only that we are NOT communicating in the love language he wishes to listen. Everybody has a primary love language through which they want others to communcate to them. Love is not just aasai vaarthai / anbu vaarthai. Gary chapman, in his book on love languages , has classified love language into five. Though I think its much more than that, I like his classification concept a lot as it helps to deal with people subjectively.

Some of the love languages are 1. Quality time 2. Receiving gifts 3. Words of comfort/guidance and care 4. Act of service 5 physical touch 6. Thoughful acts etc. Say, if somebody's primary love language is 'quality time', they would expect you to spend 20 minutes just for them but you might be with them for hrs but 'watching T.V along/ giving excellant gifts / doing a great dish as act of service' which would all never make him totally happy and their love tank is never fully filled by you and others. That why they get emotionally down and would go to the next 'sickness' state and finally become 'ill'.

It is necessary to communicate to somebody in their closest primary love language (though they may have sec. languages) If you observe them or talk to them openly, you can find what is their love language(what they expect)...Identifying the right one is what is tough.. Many a times, what they give is what they expect..Once we start giving them what they want, they would feel lllot better and its helpful for both class and everybody.
Ofcourse, changing to people requires llot of thinking, patience, adaptation etc. Its tough - to think for everybody and acting accordingly but worth trying for the parents, spouse and close friends atleast.. ofcourse, the sense of 'self' would ask you at times ' nee ivlo yosikareye', enna (un 'self'a) yaaru paathupaa?.

Definitely, when you give somebody, you will get back in multitude sooner!!


Anonymous said...


This article is wonderful. I appreciate the thought you have put in to expalin some of human traits when fortunate minds meet the less fortunate ones.

Keep it up!


Priya said...

'forturnate minds meet the unfortunate ones'- apt usage of words.. very nice of you .. and thanks!!

Jeevan said...

really nice thought pa.

When I see some mentally and physically affected people on the road, I will not see them as a different people, I look them casually like seeing normal person, when I see them I will think, when we affect like them, like how we saw them, all of them will also see us. (namba eppdi pakaramo, athaa mathirithanna, namakum intha mathire nadantha ellorum namballa pappaga). I have experienced this.

I was affected by Muscular dystrophy. I also suffering with my emotions without tell to any body, I hanged for many day, my loved persons will show me love (pasam). I like your post friend.

யாத்திரீகன் said...

very good finishing touch to the series..

the Do's and Dont's would be tuf to practise but it was a ncie analysis and observance...

i had been facing some problems with a friend and after reading those 5 categories, felt like something striked me.. thnx a lot...

btw: disclaimar-lam podura alavuku enna nadanthuchu

btw2: ivlo seekiram intha series mudiyanuma, time kedaikumbothu keep writing on this topic randomly..


Priya said...

Thanks Jeevan. unga nalla mansukku neenga romba nalla iruppeenga!!

i didn't want anybody to come to me and say ' how can u classify like this..its wrong' or 'there is nothing like this etc' just is the disclaimer.
senthil, just a suggestion..observe the person well..
try working in one language at a time ..if it works, do repetetive showering with adequate time intervals !! Good luck!!

யாத்திரீகன் said...

thnx priya.. had already madeup my mind to understand it.. and surely will try my best..

hey an info related to ur earlier post.. i used to complain abt my roomies and the mess they make the house.. atlast.. 1 guy (actually he was the maximum damager :-) left to india, the very next day i started cleaning the house and the other guy got interested and joined me..

it took whole 1 week to get the house back to a home.. and evlo puthaiyal eduthom :-))) including a rice bag which was 3 yrs old ..

its been 10 days and still the hosue is in same way.. :-)


Priya said...

haha.. ha...

pudhayallaa...ofcourse, enakku share venum paa!!!

rice bag ellam too much...haahaha..LOL

யாத்திரீகன் said...

pudhayal-la pangu thaney.. vaanga vaanga thaaralama vangikonga.. (aha.. yarukita-da thali vidurathu intha kupayellam-nu nenachukitu irunthiyey.. ithaivida verenna vaendum iraiva ;-) hehehe !!!


naan indha veetuku vanthu 3 maasamthaan aguthu.. but andha damager who went to india, was in this house for 4 yrs.. ellam avar panna koothu..


Yours Truly said...

Sindhanayai thooNdum sidharalgaL - all 6. Too too good!! One of the very few serious posts which I read through till the last word. Was blog hopping and landed into your site :) Keep writing. And yeah, nice to meet a fellow BITSian in the blogosphere :D

Anonymous said...

Thought will write some closing
remarks for this wonderful article by this author.

Mannathin Nellam Ethuvo Athuve Vazhvin Nellamada!!!
Anbin pathai serthavanukku azhve ellai yada!!!
Athalinal Nallathai neenaithu Nalathe seiveer ullagathore!!!

Let our thought and act be Non-Dualistic


Katavul pathi Mirugam Pathi Kalandhu Seitha Kalavai Naan!!!

Priya said...

senthil..aalavidunga sami.. enakku pazhaya stuff ellam vennam pa...well, i will defintely write some thing related to this one in the future..

thanks yours truly..

and thanks kadaugam ;)-(kadavul-mirugam)

prasad said...

first time here.. enna ore psychosis pathi posta irukenu romba kulambi poiten.. appram Sindhai Sidharal episodes 1 - 5 orderla patichathappram thaan purinchuthu.. hey very interesting analysis, and informative too, i enjoyed reading it every bit!

appram, maamiyar-marumagal prechanaiku ippdi oru angle irukumnu yosichathe illa, unga posta parthathukappram than teriyuthu..hmmm.. ini Ponna katti kudukarthuku munna, maamiyaar-oda medicine lista payyan jyathagathoda please kuduthaganumnu oru condition podanum pola iruke... :D enna ore oru sikkal, avanga namaku thaan nut kalanthu poiduchonu nenaika vaippu undu :D

Priya said...

lol..aamaam apdithaan nenapaanga.. aana 'ponnu enna medicine eduthukkittaa'nnu indha kalathula kenum as people eat medicine right from day 1

ranjit kalidasan said...

Excellant informative 'thodar' priya. Ivallavu seekiram mudichirukka vendaam, innum konjam neraiya unga experience ellaam ezhuthi irukalaam. Anyway ezhudhuna varaikkun it is really a wonderful work.

vayasya said...

Good essay. Really helps in educating people to treat others with love and kindness. Good job.

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