Disclaimer: Whatever I suggest is just my thoughts. I dont claim that it is THE only way to classify / help others. Thanks for your patience in reading a long post!!
Okay !! Well, we were discussing about the common misconceptions in mental illness. What can we do about it?? We would think that we dont get to move with mentally ill people quite often. All we could do is just give money, show some sympathy etc.. I think we all can do much more in our day to day life...Let us THINK and see things as Q & A.
In general, mental illness go hand in hand with emotional disturbance - one may be the cause or result of the other. But, who are prone to emotional disturbance? Anybody at terrible moments /situation. Biologically, at this stage there is a slight disturbance which need not have to be treated.
How it becomes quite often and lead to illness? Once after we see such a terrible moment, it is easy to get to such an extreme state often (As we have been there, we tend to increase our emotional elasticity). We start to behave eccentric regularly. This may have to be treated.
But, who are more susceptible to such repetetive mental sickness ?People with strong emotional component - genetically or acquired through the way they are brought up !!
And,what can lead/ aggravate to mental illness ?Surrounding - people around them and the individuals' attitude towards people.
How can we make their life better ? For this, I would classify them into 2 - Class 1: People declared as mentally ill by doctors Class 2: Normal people who get mentally sick quite often (possibly leading to mental illness) Class 2 can be further classified as 1. Explicity sick 2. Not explicitly sick.
Class 1 DO's and Don'ts:
1. When we see mental patients visibly sick somewhere, we can avoid eye to eye contacts/ smile/ stare/ sympathy as we can avoid their hallucinations that we are looking to hurt them/ tease them. Oru thadava vellorla, a patient took my cap and was not willing to give back as I was kindaa staring at him.
2. When we meet them, we can put up a normal look with a pleasant smile and say a 'hi' & Listen to them patiently as that would give some confidence and trust on us which would help in recovery.
3. We shall forget their illness and treat them like a friend (even if artificial, its okay. They would be preoccupied with what they wish to say or in trying to find if we are really trustable, they might not think it to be artificial generally) and not show sympathy through words.
Class 2: Do's and Don'ts:
1. If we see somebody getting mentally upset/ angry often explicitly, we tend to think he/ she has changed a lllot and they are not close to us anymore... May be its is better to ask whats the problem. Otherwise, people would start assuming things.But, he may not share with you and that may affect your 'self'. Ofcourse, appo appo namma 'selfa' koncham mootai kattanum. May be if he is willing to share, he may consider it and that may not pile up his mental sickness.
2. Healthy fun is always a healing medicine for people around. We tend to forget all our worries during those moments and we get better.Thanks to pb for all the humor.. (evlavo makkala kodumai paduthinaalum ) Unga sense of humor naala, you have been a best medicine for many people. So much punniyam for you !!!
3. Sports: When we can see yourself/ somebody around us getting sick often, we can do some sport activity (with them). Our(their) hormonal balance is maintained and we (they) tend to get normal sooner.
4. Haircut: Heard from a friend yesterday that it seems we tend to meddle up with our hair when we are mentally sick. (lexington makkale, enakku idhu theriyadhu munnadi...)
For both Class and Others: Ofcourse, we can do monetary help to mental asyylum. Once in a while, we can tend to spend time with them (and do not react to what they say/ do). Only then we will stop cribbing that 'enakkku adhristamee illa' and we have to do so much for others.
Anbe Sivam / How to EXPRESS heartfelt committment of love, the divine language??
Why when we show so much love and affection to somebody (Ill / Normal) still people dont get satisfied. They have complaints against us. Are they good or bad ? Are we doing right or wrong? Its not that. Its only that we are NOT communicating in the love language he wishes to listen. Everybody has a primary love language through which they want others to communcate to them. Love is not just aasai vaarthai / anbu vaarthai. Gary chapman, in his book on love languages , has classified love language into five. Though I think its much more than that, I like his classification concept a lot as it helps to deal with people subjectively.
Some of the love languages are 1. Quality time 2. Receiving gifts 3. Words of comfort/guidance and care 4. Act of service 5 physical touch 6. Thoughful acts etc. Say, if somebody's primary love language is 'quality time', they would expect you to spend 20 minutes just for them but you might be with them for hrs but 'watching T.V along/ giving excellant gifts / doing a great dish as act of service' which would all never make him totally happy and their love tank is never fully filled by you and others. That why they get emotionally down and would go to the next 'sickness' state and finally become 'ill'.
It is necessary to communicate to somebody in their closest primary love language (though they may have sec. languages) If you observe them or talk to them openly, you can find what is their love language(what they expect)...Identifying the right one is what is tough.. Many a times, what they give is what they expect..Once we start giving them what they want, they would feel lllot better and its helpful for both class and everybody.
Ofcourse, changing to people requires llot of thinking, patience, adaptation etc. Its tough - to think for everybody and acting accordingly but worth trying for the parents, spouse and close friends atleast.. ofcourse, the sense of 'self' would ask you at times ' nee ivlo yosikareye', enna (un 'self'a) yaaru paathupaa?.
Definitely, when you give somebody, you will get back in multitude sooner!!