Saturday, February 18, 2006

Amma appa- 3


This is my 50th post!!! Thanks for all the encouragement, support and especially your patience !!
Guys, a tamil post after a long break - காளமேகமாய் சிலேடை (Kaalamegamaai silaedai)

Coming back to Amma Appa series, as I previously said, they have done a great job in growing us up !! Children growing up w/o them really lack the experience - the way amma and appa handle a situation and care etc. !! Those people are the really heroes who manage things by themselves, survive and get going!!

But, on the lighter side, if we observe them, their ''rouse(ரவுசு)'' appears to be too much sometimes !!

Have you watched your amma sitting with 'pathrakaaran' and bargaining for barter (clothes with utensils)??? Oh my God!! They would bargain too much and finally they would get nothing which would irresistably irritate me . But, actually that guy (paathrakaaran) is also extremely manipulating!! Remember how Amma would force you to wear gold jewels??!! Ufff... And her push to make you attend somebody's (sister's nathanaar's machini's) wedding?? If you resist, her emotional outburst would kindaa embarass and make us do the needful !! I have hated to go to maavu mill to grind flour and potti kadai to buy beetle leaf and green chilies !! Now, I think it was a nice exposure to know what costs how much, know good maths by getting bakki paisa after buying things etc. and its a good socialising place indeed !! Another thing I hated is make 'vethal' on terrace (mottai maadi)/ make sevai(idiyappam). Oh my god!! the koozh used to be so hot and we have to make vethal (press and squeeze (pizhinchify) when it is so.. I used to be like ' why dont we buy all this instead of giving our lives'. But I have secretively eaten that koozh and did some mischievious things as well Now, it all appears to be fun and a great exposure !! And the biggest torture (for a girl) is not letting you even trim your hair.If you cut little more, it becomes an issue and thats it!! They feel as if there is great loss to life !!!

Regarding appa's torture, I have not experienced much as my appa was living away (working at a different place) . The first rouse I remember is ' his advice regarding speeding in vehicles (kinetic honda)' . He and my uncle rides so slow that they would test my patience threshold and I would just feel like getting down and walking faster to the vehicle. I dont think my uncle's vehicle (chetak) would have ever seen a speed like 40 km per hour in its life time..Again as for a girl , appas would just be at the door entrance if their daughters dont reach home by 8.00pm...thousand phone calls to office, friends and they vent all their tension by shouting/ yelling at my amma !!

Enna makkale, what about your experience on their torture (rouse)? I am ready to listen.. Would get back to end the appa amma series in the next post with something interesting and important to say!!

Monday, February 13, 2006

Amma appa - 2

Hey all
Wishing you all a very happy valentine's day!!

Coming back to amma appa.. Have you had the experience of watching your parents build a house?? This is one of the best times during which you may see how they work together and you may see all sorts of emotions at home..

For a middle class family, before 10-15 yrs, its an achievement to get a home built !! (Now there are many builders who take up everything unlike those days. ) Many of you would have this experience - the joint planning and organising by appa amma, cautious acts during the execution like supervision of home, unexpected problems , unavoidable situations and arguments..I still remember that we did a grihapravesam with just no room painted inside.. Month by month, as they got their pay, we painted . We never had electricity for 1.5 yrs . I did all my studies before sunset - no motar, no sump . Gradually we started getting things like T.V ( in 7th class), fridge (in 10 class) and phone (when I went to college). Wow!! what a great experience!!! I always feel that the bond between the couple would be stronger when they work hard together and meet their goals rather than just enjoying them together!!

But for their mutual cooperation, egoless acts, careful planning, guidance and care, we are not what we are now!!

On this valentine's day, I wish to pay homage to all parents !!! Who are they?? A picture is worth a thousand words

Mother- the one who cares!!

Father - the one who guides

I am little busy with work this week!! Will continue with all the ' rouse' (ரவுசு) of our parents in the next post asap!!!Meanwhile read this post of Shree !!! Romba kashtamaa irukku!!!

Sunday, February 05, 2006

Amma Appa-1

Hey all,
This SATURDAY is "Thai Poosam"
Wondering what is in "amma appa" series?? Here, I just thought I shall put down some common characteristics/ incidents happening at our families which would help us understand how men and women are and how things are between couple ( though I can't totally generalize, whatever I say here is based on what I hear from my friends and see at home).

Our 'amma appa' s never got married based on individual compatibility issues and were expected to take what was given to them unlike us. They did a great job in getting along and learned to like each other and adjust for however they are . Sometimes I feel that their way of choosing partners is better than us . Not that this generation amma appas are not happy/ good. They act matured, avoid unnecessary arguments , fights and learned to respect each other's feelings..

Trying to understand a male and a female and classifying them as ' he is like this ' or 'she is always like this ' is not very easy and not always true. As of what I noticed, I am saying things here...Forgive me If You think I am wrong.

Amma would be somebody who thinks abt many things and does them... You can see amma teaching your maths homework, simultaneously cutting vegetables and cooking, watching now and then the TV program when she enters hall and guessing the name of the movie and also would be answering to appa's queries abt family matters. Amma has that multitasking talent/lateral thinking. She would be somebody who appears to be more caring and cautious on any issue well ahead..

Appa would be like slowly (nidhaanamaa) paying attention to details on what has to be done and concentrating on one thing at a time. He would tend to be more analytical and he would untangle any emotional component attached to any matter and separate out the cause or reason behind it. He would do things that he thinks to be correct most of the time. Appa has that reasoning out talent..

How men and women are:
I discuss with my friend vasu and Rc reg expectations and understanding and we admire ,tease and try to identify how men would differ from women on certain issues!! Here is an instance through which I wish to explain how appa and think ( men and women think )!!

Say, when amma comes back from office, appa would be like 'How was your day? '
and amma (lady) would start like this: " Oh, the day was so tiresome.. There was a guy who was standing next to me in the bus and giving problems.. he keeps coming in the same bus as mine.. After I reached office, my subordinate didnt even respect me.. bla bla.. my manager today yelled at me when I took the file when the mistake was not mine at all...bla bla.Oh I am so frustrated... why I feel I am working at chennai??.. I wish I work at my previous office in trichy.. We were happy .. Then , my friend sudha behaved so cheap at lunch . She brought just 2 vadai and gave it to another collegue..Never cared for me..and i found that there was no salt in it..Oh so much work!!! I am so tired"

Appa would listen to all this and would start thinking solutions for all her problems in his mind " From tomorrow, we should not make her go on bus. We should drop her/ get a vehicle by loan atleast. What shall I do abt the manager?. Shall I tell him sometime not to trouble my wife. Or shall we think of a transfer to trichy??. When sudha comes next time, I should not let my wife overdo cooking"

When amma asks appa ' how was ur day?' . Appa would say ' okay. good. U know what?? My office people were casually teasing my new haircut. It was fun!!. bla bla ..And, we need to pay loan money back this month'
Amma says " who were they to tease you. Last week your friend krishnamurthy had a terrible haircut. Did we ever say anything. That lady in your office , mala was not even behaving like a girl . did we say anything". She will think abt loan matter but not discuss it..

Next day, when appa after thinking deep abt her problems, gives all solution abt vehicle, transfer to trichy, treating sudha etc. , amma would be cool and be ready to go on bus, work with the same manager and take some new dessert for sudha. Appa would be like ' I cant understand her. Why did she say all that? These ladies are hard to understand and deal with !!' and when appa is pretty cool abt his friends teasing his haircut, amma would be mad ' why he does not have self respect . why he lets everybody take over him'.

Its because "appa never understood that amma never wanted solutions from appa but she wants somebody to listen to her mutterings. All she expects from him is to be a patient listener and a caring man. And appa never thought abt silly things in life and amma never understood that they are silly. She being a lady is more sensitive and serious"

Yeh, thats how men and women are !!! Until people dont understand how the other person is and accept it, they cant be peaceful .. But amma appas do unite in some
will continue..