Sunday, February 05, 2006

Amma Appa-1

Hey all,
This SATURDAY is "Thai Poosam"
Wondering what is in "amma appa" series?? Here, I just thought I shall put down some common characteristics/ incidents happening at our families which would help us understand how men and women are and how things are between couple ( though I can't totally generalize, whatever I say here is based on what I hear from my friends and see at home).

Our 'amma appa' s never got married based on individual compatibility issues and were expected to take what was given to them unlike us. They did a great job in getting along and learned to like each other and adjust for however they are . Sometimes I feel that their way of choosing partners is better than us . Not that this generation amma appas are not happy/ good. They act matured, avoid unnecessary arguments , fights and learned to respect each other's feelings..

Trying to understand a male and a female and classifying them as ' he is like this ' or 'she is always like this ' is not very easy and not always true. As of what I noticed, I am saying things here...Forgive me If You think I am wrong.

Amma would be somebody who thinks abt many things and does them... You can see amma teaching your maths homework, simultaneously cutting vegetables and cooking, watching now and then the TV program when she enters hall and guessing the name of the movie and also would be answering to appa's queries abt family matters. Amma has that multitasking talent/lateral thinking. She would be somebody who appears to be more caring and cautious on any issue well ahead..

Appa would be like slowly (nidhaanamaa) paying attention to details on what has to be done and concentrating on one thing at a time. He would tend to be more analytical and he would untangle any emotional component attached to any matter and separate out the cause or reason behind it. He would do things that he thinks to be correct most of the time. Appa has that reasoning out talent..

How men and women are:
I discuss with my friend vasu and Rc reg expectations and understanding and we admire ,tease and try to identify how men would differ from women on certain issues!! Here is an instance through which I wish to explain how appa and think ( men and women think )!!

Say, when amma comes back from office, appa would be like 'How was your day? '
and amma (lady) would start like this: " Oh, the day was so tiresome.. There was a guy who was standing next to me in the bus and giving problems.. he keeps coming in the same bus as mine.. After I reached office, my subordinate didnt even respect me.. bla bla.. my manager today yelled at me when I took the file when the mistake was not mine at all...bla bla.Oh I am so frustrated... why I feel I am working at chennai??.. I wish I work at my previous office in trichy.. We were happy .. Then , my friend sudha behaved so cheap at lunch . She brought just 2 vadai and gave it to another collegue..Never cared for me..and i found that there was no salt in it..Oh so much work!!! I am so tired"

Appa would listen to all this and would start thinking solutions for all her problems in his mind " From tomorrow, we should not make her go on bus. We should drop her/ get a vehicle by loan atleast. What shall I do abt the manager?. Shall I tell him sometime not to trouble my wife. Or shall we think of a transfer to trichy??. When sudha comes next time, I should not let my wife overdo cooking"

When amma asks appa ' how was ur day?' . Appa would say ' okay. good. U know what?? My office people were casually teasing my new haircut. It was fun!!. bla bla ..And, we need to pay loan money back this month'
Amma says " who were they to tease you. Last week your friend krishnamurthy had a terrible haircut. Did we ever say anything. That lady in your office , mala was not even behaving like a girl . did we say anything". She will think abt loan matter but not discuss it..

Next day, when appa after thinking deep abt her problems, gives all solution abt vehicle, transfer to trichy, treating sudha etc. , amma would be cool and be ready to go on bus, work with the same manager and take some new dessert for sudha. Appa would be like ' I cant understand her. Why did she say all that? These ladies are hard to understand and deal with !!' and when appa is pretty cool abt his friends teasing his haircut, amma would be mad ' why he does not have self respect . why he lets everybody take over him'.

Its because "appa never understood that amma never wanted solutions from appa but she wants somebody to listen to her mutterings. All she expects from him is to be a patient listener and a caring man. And appa never thought abt silly things in life and amma never understood that they are silly. She being a lady is more sensitive and serious"

Yeh, thats how men and women are !!! Until people dont understand how the other person is and accept it, they cant be peaceful .. But amma appas do unite in some
issues..
will continue..

27 comments:

Anonymous said...

Enna "What (wo)men want" topiclaam? Kalyana aasai vandhaachu pola?

A good analysis, I would say. You pointed it out right - Women are more sensitive and men are more sensible :)

-STPV.

ranjit kalidasan said...

mmm..the moral of the story in bold letters is an argument for debate, I won't fully accept that..
BTW ungaloda amma appaa conversationla oru sirukathai olinjikittu irukudu kavanichingalaaa?..

Priya said...

stpv,
mmm..
this is too much:)- ponnunga are multiprocessing - more samathu and sincere okay!!!

ranjith,
i dont mean everybody is like that..It need not be amma appa.. even among friends, we tend to see that men cant understand women..
Sirukadhaiyaa vechikalaam.. But my friend sh keeps saying abt instances at her home and this one came out from some of that..

ranjit kalidasan said...

Priya,
I didn't say you are generalising your statement. But neenga listening part sonnadhu 100% unmai sila ammaakkal solutionsum edhir paarpaanga, adaan sonnen.

neenga amma appa conversationaa solli irukiradha oru sirukathaiyaa solra alavakku present panni irukeengannu sonnen.

யாத்திரீகன் said...

கடவுள் இருக்காரா இல்லையா என்பதற்கு அடுத்தபடியா மிகவும் சர்ச்சையான முடிவில்லாத தலைப்பு இது :-) ஆண் Vs. பெண்

உங்கள் TAG-க்கு உடனடியாக பதிலலிக்க முடியாத சூழ்நிலையில் உள்ளேன் விபரங்களுக்கு இதை படிக்கவும் :-(

Badhri said...

Story right out of Adambakkam and Pammal! Good old days. Too bad, changing time has to bring so much change in one's life. Getting very nostalgic.

(Hey! Atlast I made it to your blog!)

Jeevan said...

You have understand better than the appa amma. nice post.

It was like what is happen in my house,when ever my amma goes out for shopping, after reaching house, he used to tell stories about her travell and people she met ( the hightlight is the Auto man, who get more money). when my dad tell about his office matter, she used to hear once, But my amma used and again my dad tell the same story, she will tell, how any times will u tell the story.to tell the same story every time, my appa will going on hearing her story.

Prabu Karthik said...

senthil solra madhiri idhu oru saaga varam petra topic.

yaar vena book eludalaam indha topic la ..

nalla vikkum:D

Priya said...

got it ranjith!!!

sendhil,
saw ur post.. dont know what to say.. felt sorry abt it!!!

badhri,
ivlo naal enna panna?? bayangara busyaa??

thanks jeevan !!

pk,
idhu enna idhu nakkal.. book nalla vikkum..
naan edho seriousaa solren :)- neenga ennadaanna ipdi solreengale.mmm..

Prabu Karthik said...

aaha naan kindal ellam pannala

koncha naal munnadi "Men are from mars..." padichen, aprom
"why men don't listen & women can't read maps " koncham padichen (not fully)

the content is the same in both. eludina flavour dhaan different.
elalthileyum nee blog la eludhirkara content dhaan irukku...
style dhaan vera

Epdi rajini padam na oru formula irukko, apdi best selling non-fiction kum oru formula vechirukaanga!

('how to win' topics,
'men-women' topics, idhellam andha formula la varum IMHO)

vena neeyum idhey topic la idhey content oda book eludhi paaru decenta vikkum :)

யாத்திரீகன் said...

ப்ரியா.. உங்கள் TAG-க்கு பதிலளித்து விட்டேன்

Priya said...

pk!!
book ezuthara saamarthiyam irundhaa naan en ipdi iruken?

yaathrigan
vegu arumaiyaana suggestions!!

Muthukumar Puranam said...

you cannot generalize anything like this when it comes to understanding people..still I think nee sonnatha konjam mathi oru azhagana short story mathiri ezhuthi irukalam. Thayavu senju intha word verification non sensea thookungapa..nowadays not many are spamming in blogs.

Prabhu said...

Done Priya,
Nee everytime " enaku morning lenthu 100 call varuthu" pesi pesi vaai valikuthu nnu solum pothu "oohhh, sari atleast I wont call u" nnu ninachuppen..

nee verum polamba thaa appadi solrenna inimel nan unaku call panren!

Priya said...

pb, adhu epdi pb.. ungalaala dhaan mudiyum..
I told specifcally that "we cant generalize like that and its only my opinion.. forgive me if i am wrong" ellam.
(thaipoosathulaa kooda naan mudhalaye sonnen solkutram porul kutram irukkunnu)

sooper ponga!!

prabhu,
ellam en time...makkal edpi irukkangannu alasi pathu sonna, ennaye ne ottraya:)- ottu ottu

btw, ippo ellam en nilai undhu maari dhaan..phone vechu e dhaan otraen..

Muthukumar Puranam said...

priya,
un postla initially generalizations panna mudiyathunu sollitu..appuram athu than panra mathiri. Aanalum naan stress pannathu athai illa, formata change panni vera mathiri present pannalam nu sonnatha than. For previous post too same goes. Etho enaku therinjatha sonnen.

Priya said...

edho pb enakku therinjadha en opiniona dhaan naanum sonnen pb !!
sirukadhaiyaa ellam enakku ezhtha varaadhu pb!!!

Shree said...

thanks for the info on thai poosam priya!!

Jeevan said...

we did pooja today for Muruga, How do u celebrate thaipoosam?

Priya said...

today is another normal day with normal prayers.. lexingtonla it makes no difference.. may we will make variety food..avlodhaan!!

Anonymous said...

very interesting..waiting for part 2..please.

Saranya Kishore said...

hey nice page here. will drop by often :)

யாத்திரீகன் said...

ப்ரியா.. தைப்பூசம்னதும் அதைப்பற்றி பற்றி இந்த வாரகடைசியில் நடந்த சம்பவம், நகைச்சுவையாகவே எடுத்துக்கொள்வீர்கள் என்று நம்புகிறேன்..

வார இறுதியில் பாண்டிச்சேரி சென்றிருந்த என் நண்பர்கள் சிலர் கடைகள் பூட்டப்படுவதை கண்டவர்கள், கடைக்காரரிடம் "ஏங்க திடீர்னு பூட்டுரீங்க இன்னைக்கு விடுமுறை இல்லையே"னு கேட்டதுக்கு, அந்த கடைக்காரர் "இன்னைக்கு தைப்பூசம்ங்க"னு ரொம்ப சீரியசா பதில் சொல்லியிருக்கார்... இந்த பசங்க சொன்ன பதிலுக்கு டென்ஷனாகி பயங்கரமா தொரத்தியிருக்கார்.. என்ன சொன்னானுங்கனு கேட்குறீங்களா.. "தைப்பூசமா... அதுக்கென்ன..தாரளமா பூசிக்கொங்க.. கடயத்தொறங்கன்னா..." ;-)

Priya said...

thanks for visiting anon!!

thanks saranya!!

sendhil,
LOL... KADAVULE!!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Hey
Their procedure for choosing partners is better ... ur statement is not correct. Those things worked out because mostly women comprimised in the past... shame on us and this part of culture ...

Anon-I

Priya said...

anon 1
its true..women compromised too much...

but, my feeling was only 'sometimes' !!! (I have mentioned so!!!)

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