This SATURDAY is "Thai Poosam"
Wondering what is in "amma appa" series?? Here, I just thought I shall put down some common characteristics/ incidents happening at our families which would help us understand how men and women are and how things are between couple ( though I can't totally generalize, whatever I say here is based on what I hear from my friends and see at home).
Our 'amma appa' s never got married based on individual compatibility issues and were expected to take what was given to them unlike us. They did a great job in getting along and learned to like each other and adjust for however they are . Sometimes I feel that their way of choosing partners is better than us . Not that this generation amma appas are not happy/ good. They act matured, avoid unnecessary arguments , fights and learned to respect each other's feelings..
Trying to understand a male and a female and classifying them as ' he is like this ' or 'she is always like this ' is not very easy and not always true. As of what I noticed, I am saying things here...Forgive me If You think I am wrong.
Amma would be somebody who thinks abt many things and does them... You can see amma teaching your maths homework, simultaneously cutting vegetables and cooking, watching now and then the TV program when she enters hall and guessing the name of the movie and also would be answering to appa's queries abt family matters. Amma has that multitasking talent/lateral thinking. She would be somebody who appears to be more caring and cautious on any issue well ahead..
Appa would be like slowly (nidhaanamaa) paying attention to details on what has to be done and concentrating on one thing at a time. He would tend to be more analytical and he would untangle any emotional component attached to any matter and separate out the cause or reason behind it. He would do things that he thinks to be correct most of the time. Appa has that reasoning out talent..
How men and women are:
I discuss with my friend vasu and Rc reg expectations and understanding and we admire ,tease and try to identify how men would differ from women on certain issues!! Here is an instance through which I wish to explain how appa and think ( men and women think )!!
Say, when amma comes back from office, appa would be like 'How was your day? '
and amma (lady) would start like this: " Oh, the day was so tiresome.. There was a guy who was standing next to me in the bus and giving problems.. he keeps coming in the same bus as mine.. After I reached office, my subordinate didnt even respect me.. bla bla.. my manager today yelled at me when I took the file when the mistake was not mine at all...bla bla.Oh I am so frustrated... why I feel I am working at chennai??.. I wish I work at my previous office in trichy.. We were happy .. Then , my friend sudha behaved so cheap at lunch . She brought just 2 vadai and gave it to another collegue..Never cared for me..and i found that there was no salt in it..Oh so much work!!! I am so tired"
Appa would listen to all this and would start thinking solutions for all her problems in his mind " From tomorrow, we should not make her go on bus. We should drop her/ get a vehicle by loan atleast. What shall I do abt the manager?. Shall I tell him sometime not to trouble my wife. Or shall we think of a transfer to trichy??. When sudha comes next time, I should not let my wife overdo cooking"
When amma asks appa ' how was ur day?' . Appa would say ' okay. good. U know what?? My office people were casually teasing my new haircut. It was fun!!. bla bla ..And, we need to pay loan money back this month'
Amma says " who were they to tease you. Last week your friend krishnamurthy had a terrible haircut. Did we ever say anything. That lady in your office , mala was not even behaving like a girl . did we say anything". She will think abt loan matter but not discuss it..
Next day, when appa after thinking deep abt her problems, gives all solution abt vehicle, transfer to trichy, treating sudha etc. , amma would be cool and be ready to go on bus, work with the same manager and take some new dessert for sudha. Appa would be like ' I cant understand her. Why did she say all that? These ladies are hard to understand and deal with !!' and when appa is pretty cool abt his friends teasing his haircut, amma would be mad ' why he does not have self respect . why he lets everybody take over him'.
Its because "appa never understood that amma never wanted solutions from appa but she wants somebody to listen to her mutterings. All she expects from him is to be a patient listener and a caring man. And appa never thought abt silly things in life and amma never understood that they are silly. She being a lady is more sensitive and serious"
Yeh, thats how men and women are !!! Until people dont understand how the other person is and accept it, they cant be peaceful .. But amma appas do unite in some