Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Amma Appa - Final

Now, Kaalamegamaai siledai- Naaykkum Thengaaykkum in Tamilkkalvi
Well, what else do I wish to say in amma appa series?? Everyday I think some thing new and consider it to be important and I think" today i will write this"... that 'today' never came till today.. okay.. i am putting down all the thoughts that has come - random thoughts !!!

Ivlo rouse vittaalum amma appakku equivalent illa dhaan !! No doubt about it !! And also I think our parents have made lot of efforts to adapt to the new world, trying their best to keep up with new things like internet (ofcourse with our help only...pat your shoulders) and above all, have not defined themselves as ' i am this this and this and i cant take up this this this' unlike many of our generation people (in my opinion) who sometimes consider many things as nuisance..

But, definitely, I have some things to say to parents (older or newer generation). Please do not get me wrong that I am trying to act mature or better !!

Parents are extremely selfless w.r.t their kids. But how much they are to the society? Parents after becoming so, totally forget to live a life they enjoy or that helps the society (which they wish to but not do practically by setting different priorities !!)

Many of them consider that taking care of every step in our life is their duty and their priority !! Parents who have children with ages in teens and twenties still worry too much, micro-monitor and spend their time overcaring about them. In this aspect, I am kindaa proud of my parents who have learned to live w/o me since 1997 and they have life of their own to an extent. I would say that I have also played a great role in making them to be so.. say like I will never call up at all sometimes and have not set any expectations in their mind that "okay, i need to do this for priya this this and this... " It would be very irritating for them when you curb their care. But you know they learn to do other things other than thinking about me (you).

Still I dont know how effectively many parents set their priority at different stages of life and use their time for society (and not just relatives). I keep pushing my father to join some class of interest say yoga, playing instrument etc. Sometimes , it helps them to realize it when we suggest. Some people dont feel like getting out of their box.

I think there are lots of ways to join the society and contribute which would keep them busy and happy. I really would wish to urge parents to live the life that interests them w/o thinking what it will fetch in future say if you wished to learn something ..do it..!!!

Also worrying too much about relatives is something that I never liked!! (Though people may laugh at this but i (we) dont care abt what others think say, I have really liked the goshti which performs radha kalyanam or whatever in many home. You can see lots of people join them, go and sing bhajans in homes of people whom you dont even know!! wished to join them atleast for a month!!)

Our parents have so much talent say like doing some handicrafts like koodai making, mani bommai making , awesome traditional cooking etc which are getting extinct. It will be really nice if some of them volunteer to teach a group of interested children and pass it on. Some parents and grandparents know great home remedies for small health issues which has real meaning. It will be really nice if even some of us care to identify and bother to pass it on!!

I always wish to get back to india and try to pool info from many such people and do something (say form an association and set up a structure) to pass it on!!! Let us see what God thinks!! But I definitely think the younger generation has to understand the importance of what the oldies have gained through experience and the older generation has to realise what a great treasure they possess and how effectively they can serve the society !!

Any suggestion on what can be done practically???

Thanks for patiently reading amma appa series !!!



22 comments:

Prabu Karthik said...

wonderful post!

i know i am lagging behind in certain aspects u've mentioned but then can't help it in my circumstances.

And parents doing something to the society, lets face it, we are selfish society and too "family" oriented. ppl wud die for their children and relatives but echil kai la eee kooda oota maatanga.

adhaan india ipdi irukku.. ;(

Vasu the terrible said...

bang on target. I have one complaint though, you end up stealing my ideas. Infact I used to do the exact same thing and let the know that I am leading an independant life so that they dont link their happiness with mine.

Its difficult initially and soon they get adjusted to it. It really helps them in the long run.

I also feel that kids end up over worrying about their parents and not understanding that if you stand your ground they can take it and wont get too hurt about things. I over worry about my mom all the time...

Anyway there it is another wonderful post about parents.

vasu

Muthukumar Puranam said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
vayasya said...

It will be really nice if some of them volunteer to teach a group of interested children and pass it on......I always wish to get back to india and try to pool info from many such people and do something (say form an association and set up a structure) to pass it on!!!

Ideally family is the best institution to pass on such knowledge.The biggest hindrance to the preservation of any kind of knowledge that has been passed on orally / physically from generation to generation is the attitude of people in how they react to it: whether they embrace it or reject it. The latter is happening everywhere. Life is going at a hectic pace. People are more interested in adopting a so-called rational lifestyle and leave out what doesnt seem rational or doesnt seem comfortable. And it seems harder and harder day-by-day to justify to the younger generation, why and how the knowledge passed by our elders is really valuable and important.

I think the first step would be to start working towards identifying the value of the knowledge we are trying to preserve cause unless we can establish that this knowledge is worthy of being learnt, it is going to be difficult to convince people to learn it.

ranjit kalidasan said...

Priya,
Good series. There are two things i would like to say. a) Parents are passing family values through traditions and customs even with those you term as 'selfish' b) Never try to give advice our parents. I remember last time when i tried to give advice to my amma when amma and appa had fight like 'amma prachanai ennanaa..', i immediately got two hard slaps on my cheek :-)

lord labakkudoss said...

@ranjit,

***got two hard slaps on my cheek***

rightly said, innum namma ooru ammma appakkal, pasanga kitta iruntha advise vaangara avalavukku valarale.. (at least with last gen)... But the present generation kids are too smart..:-)

Anonymous said...

Hey,

Its a nice write up.

I believe it would be unfair, unjust & brashly critical to say our parents have not done anything to society. This is not from emotional standpoint. Just practical.

Looking back, albeit unfortunate, our parents did not have governments to support them. Support? Support in any forms: Healthcare, Education system, Retirement policies et al. To top it all, they were in middle class segment. With their limited resources, working predominantly in brick & mortar industry for meagre pay, they took care of their day to day life spending, repaid home loans over 25 years & importanly ensured their kids gets best of school education.

Knowingly or unknowingly, their act of selflessness, especially in educating their kids, has today brought India to Global Roadmap. India today has earned bragging rights to proclaim about its human resources. I think its definitely because of toils of each one parents.

Its one such example.

I also believe, people attitude towards development of society is changing. Philantrophy is shaping up, unfortunately its slow. Its debately if our parents are part of the change process. But rightly said, current generation can do a lot.

Bn

யாத்திரீகன் said...

age 10: My Dad is a Hero
age 15: *sigh* My Dad...
age 18: My Dad doesnt knows anything
age 25: Oh, he's an Old Man
age 30: My Dad would used to do these things cool-ly
age 35: My Dad is a great man, he told me that time itself
age 45: My Dad, ah ! no one can be like him, he is great

:-) i guess thatz how it turns to be for all of us...

priya, im posting this comment from hyd (hehehe!!! cant resist from bloghopping even during vacation :-D)

Jeevan said...

Intersting to read amma appa.

Whenever I give advice to amma and appa, they kindly accept my thoughts, and my appa treat me as his friend, and discuss with me about his worry and feelings. I am lucky to get patents like them. Now a days parents are spending there times on TV serials, I always encourage my parents to do any useful to them and for family, and avoid watching serials, now my amma is watching the serials only in night. My appa is going walking everyday and visit his friends and talk and get relax.

Priya said...

PK,
thanks..and yeh we are family oriented.. onething i observed is we help our neighbours when they are in need. We can extend it to even unknown people!!

vasu
yeh..they will get adjusted to it soon if we raise out to stay independent!!!

vayasya,
u r right!! but now a days i see many such people voicing out for family values.. but practically what has to be done is not really worked out!!

ranjith and lord labakkudoss,
i somehow think some parents do pass some values !! Not many of this period do!!! yeh, reg advice, yeh they definitely dont take until they respect your intellect!!
Many dont!!

bn,
u have brought out many nice points to explain how they help..yeh, definitely right...


But i think they can extend to somebody unknown intensionally!! after being in trouble for financial resources, parents kindaa try to protect their own people.. i agree that its their sufferings that make them do like that.. but when they get to a better stage, they/ their children(we) need not be overcautious about us alone .. rather we can extend (make them
XTEND) to our society. As you say its slow but it can faster!!

sendhil..
mmm very nice... naanum india varaporen!! so excited!!!

jeevan,
lucky that ur parents totally respect your ideas!!

bharat said...

Hi, i was blog hopping and landed here. You have done some awesome work in your tamil blog. Brings back the love I had for tamil in 10th grade. An obligation. Can you mail me the explanations for Thiruvasagam ? I have an online community for Ilaiyaraaja's Thiruvasagam on orkut and would love to post the lyrics with the layman-meanings. Thanks in advance.

Priya said...

yeh bharath
defintely!! can u give me you email id !!

bharat said...

Thanks a ton.

Mail it to mail@theebyencore.com

Thanks again

Vasu the terrible said...

hello!!!!

waiting for your next post. :)...

vasu

lord labakkudoss said...

enge kuttipisaasa... oops..:-) kuttipriya-va romba naala kanom?
vethaliyile mai pottu paarungappa..:-)


j/kidding.. no offsense meant..

Priya said...

kuttipriya was busy getting ready to go to india..reached india 2 days before..

Vasu the terrible said...

so there you are... nsoy the weather while you are in chennai..

vasu

Doondu said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
யாத்திரீகன் said...

Singaara Chennai-ku Varuga Varuga !!! :-)

lord labakkudoss said...

wow.. in chennai.. emjoy..

Prabu Karthik said...

wow! mayaa singara chennayil..

captain vijaykanth sarba election vela parkava??:))

enjoy yr stay!!
and mudincha mail/call pannavum.

Anonymous said...

Priya,

Enjoi you stay & have a safe trip, Bn